Painful as it is for Woody Allen fans to accept, it must now be said out loud (not just whispered in dark corners). Woody Allen can not write for 20-somethings. The dialogue in “Match Point” is stilted, delivered as though it’s lifted directly off the page. The overall effect is that the actors appear to be in a play rather than experiencing life.

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Capitalizing on his fame as the star of “Hogan’s Heroes,” Bob Crane (Greg Kinnear) dove into the freewheeling spirit of the 60s and 70s with relish, having affairs with numerous women. Eventually, Crane teamed up with video technician John Carpenter to document his exploits, an association that may very well have led to his murder in a Scottsdale, Arizona motel room in 1978, which remains officially unsolved to this day. Written by Anonymous

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James Bond is on possibly his most brutal mission yet. Bond’s good friend, Felix Leiter is left near to death, by drug baron Franz Sanchez. Bond sets off on the hunt for Sanchez, but not everyone is happy. MI6 do not feel Sanchez is not their problem and strips Bond of his license to kill. Bond is now more dangerously than ever. Bond gains the aide of one of Leiter friends, known as Pam Bouvier and sneaks his way into the drug factories, which Sanchez owns. Will Bond be able to keep up his identity secret, or will Sanchez see Bonds true intentions? Written by simon

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George Lazenby steps into the role of James Bond and is sent on his first mission. For help with Draco, he must becomes very close friends with her daughter, Tracy, and heads off to hunt down Ernst Stavro Blofeld one more time. This takes him to Switzerland, where he must pose as Sir Hilary Bray to find out the secret plan of Blofeld. The facility is covered with Blofeld’s guards and well as his hench-woman, Irma Bunt. What has Blofeld got in mind this time? Bond keep up this act for much longer? and are ALL Bond girls safe? Written by simon

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Sarah Huttington, recently engaged, goes home to Pasadena with fiancé Jeff for a family wedding. She hears a rumor that “The Graduate” (book and movie) are based on her family. Did her grandmother and her mom have flings with the same man just before her parents married? Is she a strange man’s child; does this explain why she doesn’t fit in? Was her mother happy? Is she too facing a loveless marriage? Where can she seek answers: her mother’s dead, her father’s a pleasant naïf. Ask her salty grandma? Better to ask the man in the triangle, the real Benjamin Braddock. With Jeff’s blessing, Sarah heads for San Francisco, looking for the key to her past and to her future. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby–crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party–Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu–the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven rules of wedding crashing to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John’s flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships. Written by Sujit R. Varma

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Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love Hewitt star as a pair of mother-daughter con artists who have almost perfected the art of ripping off wealthy men. Working as a team, Max (Weaver) sets the con up by seducing rich men into matrimony, withholding sex until after the vows. Daughter Page (Hewitt), wearing the tightest outfits this side of Erin Brockovich, then swoops in for the kill. Page, and her chest, manipulate the just-married men into some very compromising positions which Max then “accidentally” stumbles upon. Within 24 hours of marriage, the newlyweds are headed to the divorce lawyer. Hours after that, the mother-daughter team count their money while searching for their next “mark.” Max is so competent at her work that even after the marriage ceremony is over, she finds ways to avoid sleeping with her new, and by this point, very randy husband.

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Whatever you’re expecting from “Alexander,” the odds are high you’ll be in for a huge surprise. Oliver Stone’s Alexander the Great story is more about the man himself and his relationships with the men in his life, than it is about Alexander’s conquests and life as a ruler.

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The film follows the fortunes of Charles and his friends as they wonder if they will ever find true love and marry. Charles thinks he’s found “Miss Right” in Carrie, an American. This British subtle comedy revolves around Charlie, his friends and the four weddings and one funeral which they attend. Written by Rob Hartill

Loosely based upon the story by Hans Christian Andersen. Ariel, youngest daughter of King Triton, is dissatisfied with life in the sea. She longs to be with the humans above the surface, and is often caught in arguments with her father over those “barbaric fish-eaters”. She goes to meet Ursula, the Sea Witch, to strike a deal, but Ursula has bigger plans for this mermaid and her father. Written by Tim Pickett {quetzal@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au}

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