Hysteria grips California in the wake of the bombing of Pearl harbour as an assorted group of defenders attempt to make the coast defensible against an imagined Japanese invasion in this big budget, big cast comedy. Members of a Japanese submarine crew scout out the madness. Written by Keith Loh {loh@sfu.ca}

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The archvillains of The United Underworld - The Catwoman, The Joker, The Riddler and The Penguin - combine forces to dispose of Batman and Robin as they launch their fantastic plot to control the entire world. From his submarine, Penguin and his cohorts hijack a yacht containing a superdehydrator, which can extract all moisture from humans and reduce them to particles of dust. The evildoers turn the 9 Security Council members in the United World Building into 9 vials of multicolored crystals! Batman and Robin track the villains in their Batboat and use Batcharge missles to force the sub to surface. Written by Aaron Handy III {ah07@gnofn.org}

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The year is 1936. A professor who studies archeology named Inidana Jones is venturing in the jungles in South America searching for a golden statue. Unfortunately, he sets off a deadly trap doing so, miraculously, he escapes. Then, Jones hears from a museum curator named Marcus Brody about a biblical artifact called The Ark of the Covenant, which can hold the key to humanly existence. Jones has to venture to vast places such as Nepal and Egypt to find this artifact. However, he will have to fight his enemy Renee Belloq and a band of Nazis in order to reach it. Written by John Wiggins

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When a crusading chairperson of the military budget committee pressures the would be Navy secretary to begin full gender integration of the service, he offers the chance for a test case for a female trainee in the elite Navy SEALS commando force. Lt. Jordan O’Niel is given the assignment, but no one expects her to succeed in an inhumanly punishing regime that has a standard 60% dropout rate for men. However, O’Niel is determined to prove everyone wrong. Written by Kenneth Chisholm {kchishol@execulink.com}

Instability in Russia results in the deployment of the the nuclear submarine “Alabama”. Russian rebels have taken over a nuclear missile site and are refueling them for a possible strike against the USA. Tensions run high undersea, when the launch message is received, followed by an incomplete followup. Could the followup message have been to cancel the earlier orders? Written by Rob Hartill

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Dr. Evil uses a device he calls a “Time Machine” to travel back to 1969 and remove Austin Powers’ mojo. The sexually wounded swinger must travel back in time and, with the help of agent Felicity Shagwell, recover his vitality. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil’s personal life runs amok as he discovers love, continues to shun his son and develops a close relationship with himself. Well, actually, a clone 1/8 his size whom he dubs “Mini-Me”. The always time-baffled Dr. Evil begins his plan to put a gigantic cannon on the moon, thus turning it into a device called either “The Death Star” or “Alan Parson’s Project,” depending on which name is available. Written by Michael “Rabbit” Hutchison {rabhutch@spacestar.net}

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Samual L Jackson plays a businessman who sinks $200 million into a special project to help fight brain cancer. As part of this project, medical biologist Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) rather naughtily figures out a way to genetically embiggen shark brains, so that cancer-battling enzymes can be harvested. However, the shark subjects become super smart and decide they don’t much like being cooped up in pens and being stabbed with hypodermics, so they figure a way to break out and make for the open sea… Written by John Smith {John.Smith7@net.ntl.com}

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Soviets create a new nuclear submarine that runs silent due to a revolutionary propulsion system. Russian sub captain defects, goal of taking it to the U.S.A. to prevent the Russians from using the sub to wreak nuclear (missile) war against the U.S. Lots of plot turns and twists in this high-tech thriller. Written by Anonymous

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The battleship Missouri is about to be decomissioned. Casey Ryback is Captain Adam’s personal cook. And Ryback is always butting heads with the ship’s XO Commander Krill but the Captain always intercedes. One day, after the President visits the Missouri, which is also the Captain’s birthday, the Captain learns that a helicopter has been cleared to land on the ship by Commander Krill, which he was not informed of. When questioned Krill tells the Captain that it’s a surprise for his birthday, the Captain then allows it. Later after another one of their scuffles, Krill has Ryback locked in the freezer. During the party, the rock band reveals themselves to be mercenaries, led by William Stranix, a CIA operative, who is in league with Krill to unload all of the ship’s nuclear warheads. They lock up all of the crew and make preparations to remove the warheads. And Krill remembers Ryback, Stranix sends two of his men to take care of Ryback, only thing is that Ryback took care of them. Upon discovering their bodies, Stranix deduces that Ryback is more than a cook. He then sends Krill to check on him, and Krill discovers that Ryback’s a NAVY SEAL, who got busted down to a cook after an incident in Panama. And Ryback continues to create trouble for them, so Stranix tries to hunt him down. Along the way, Ryback meets Jordan, a former playmate, who was supposed to entertain at the party but was also forgotten. Written by {rcs0411@yahoo.com}

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Do you ever feel like everyone but you is in on the joke? I didn’t feel that way with Wes Anderson’s other films – “Bottle Rocket,” “Rushmore,” or the amazing “Royal Tenenbaums.” Those films were clever but never condescending. Those I understood and basically stood in awe of. But from the title to the bizarre action sequences, “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” left me feeling like an outsider looking in.

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