This is a spoof of the airport disaster movies. When the crew of an airplane are struck by some form of virus, the fate of the passengers depends on an ex-war pilot who is the only one able to land the plane safely! The passengers represent a selection of interesting wacky characters who seem to take every word for its literal meaning. Written by Sami Al-Taher {staher2000@yahoo.com}

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Two Irish brothers accidentally killed mafia thugs. They turned themselves in and were released as heroes. They then see it as a calling by God and started knocking off mafia gang members one by one. Willem Dafoe plays the detective trying to figure out the killings, but the closer he was to catching the Irish brothers, the more he thinks the brothers are doing the right thing. Written by KevinYang(meowdragon@hotmail.com)

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I’ve already established in previous reviews I’m not a comic book person (see “The Hulk,” “Spider-Man,” “Hellboy,” etc.). The same lack of knowledge of the source material extends to sci-fi films. I think I read Isaac Asimov years ago, but it didn’t stick with me. I didn’t know there were three laws robots must obey, and the title “I, Robot” reminded me more of a “Me, Tarzan, You, Jane”-type of thing than anything else.

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The world is astounded when Willy Wonka, for years a recluse in his factory, announces that five lucky people will be given a tour of the factory, shown all the secrets of his amazing candy, and one will win a lifetime supply of Wonka chocolate. Nobody wants the prize more than young Charlie, but as his family is so poor that buying even one bar of chocolate is a treat, buying enough bars to find one of the five golden tickets is unlikely in the extreme. But in movieland, magic can happen. Charlie, along with four somewhat odious other children, get the chance of a lifetime and a tour of the factory. Along the way, mild disasters befall each of the odious children, but can Charlie beat the odds and grab the brass ring? Written by Rick Munoz {rick.munoz@his.com}

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Stan Ross was a baseball superstar who turned his back on the game years ago when he finally hit 3,000 hits. Years later, he’s now a successful, self-made entrepreneur whose many businesses revolve around his title: Mr. 3000. But a clerical error has proven that Stan is just short three hits of his spectacular hit record. Now, with time on his side and the potential to be inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame, Stan must return back to the game and get back his title. But things have changed with age, and as Stan finds out, it’s not too easy to get back into the game when he hasn’t played for years, and he’s nearing 50. Written by monkeykingma

After various skirmishes, two wounded soldiers, one Bosnian and one Serb, confront each other in a trench in the no man’s land between their lines. They wait for dark, trading insults and even finding some common ground; sometimes one has the gun, sometimes the other, sometimes both. Things get complicated when another wounded Bosnian comes to, but can’t move because a bouncing mine is beneath him. The two men cooperate to wave white flags, their lines call the UN (whose high command tries not to help), an English reporter shows up, a French sergeant shows courage, and the three men in no man’s land may or may not find a way to all get along. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

The story of Detective Agustin Rejas, a man clinging to the hope of an impossible love in an impossible world. Tracking Ezequiel, a delusional anarchist who incites the downtrodden masses to join in his brutal revolution against the fascist government in their unnamed Latin American country, Rejas finds solace in his sense of self-respect and the joy that his daughter and wife bring him. Then he meets Yolanda–his daughter’s soulfully beautiful ballet teacher–a woman who sparks his long-forgotten passions and represents all that is good and all that is corrupt in their troubled country. But she, who appears to be a shelter from the storm, may in actuality be the storm’s eye. Ultimately, as the revolution intensifies and the net closes around hunter and hunted alike, the dancer’s truth will prove as elusive as the revolutionary’s cause and the detective’s peace. Written by Sujit R. Varma

Dr. David Gale, an advocate of eliminating the death penalty, is falsely accused of rape and murder. Once convicted, he ends up on death row in Texas himself, telling his story to a reporter through a series of flashbacks. Written by Jason Smith

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“Bringing Down the House” telegraphs every joke before the actor hits the punchline but that’s the least of the movie’s problems. The film has some funny moments, but there are too many jokes that are just plain uncomfortable. Because every ethnic stereotype is used as a source of amusement, the scenes that are supposed to make you laugh are the scenes that actually make you cringe. It’s got cracks about Latinos only being allowed in a rich neighborhood if they have a leaf-blower in their hands, Steve Martin’s character for some strange reason has a pink maid outfit on hand that fits Queen Latifah (where did that come from?), and every person of color speaks slang and it’s up to a white guy to teach them how to speak proper English.

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