Two Irish brothers accidentally killed mafia thugs. They turned themselves in and were released as heroes. They then see it as a calling by God and started knocking off mafia gang members one by one. Willem Dafoe plays the detective trying to figure out the killings, but the closer he was to catching the Irish brothers, the more he thinks the brothers are doing the right thing. Written by KevinYang(meowdragon@hotmail.com)

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Traveling raccoon con artist, RJ (Willis), arrives in a woods outside a human city in the Midwest, excited about the wonders that living near humans can bring hungry animals. What he finds, however, is an Amish-like community that is deathly afraid of humans, after their leader, Vern the tortoise (Shandling), has an encounter with human boys that terrifies him. Encouraged by RJ, however, the animals slowly venture over the hedge that separates them from the brand new suburban development that appeared over the winter while they were sleeping, and what RJ shows them is a whole new world where humans leave tin cans full of fish and other food in big canisters, ripe for the taking. As they get closer and closer to humans, however, their comfortable lives in the woods appears to be threatened… Written by austin4577@aol.com

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The Newton family live in their comfortable home, but there seems to something missing. This “hole” is filled by a small puppy, who walks into their home and their lives. Beethoven, as he is named, grows into a giant of a dog… a St Bernard. Doctor Varnick, the local vet has a secret and horrible sideline, which requires lots of dogs for experiments. Beethoven is on the bad doctor’s list. Written by Rob Hartill

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Oz is a Montréal dentist, paying off debts so he can divorce his wife: the dislike is mutual. When she learns their new neighbor is hit man Jimmy the Tulip, with a price on his head, she sends Oz to Chicago to earn a finder’s fee telling Mob boss Yanni where to find Jimmy. To get his wife off his back, Oz goes, his assistant Jill urging him to get laid while there. One of Yanni’s men awaits Oz at the hotel; Oz’s now in too deep to avoid telling Yanni what he knows. Meanwhile, Oz’s wife rats on Oz to Jimmy, hoping Jimmy will kill Oz and she can cash in on life insurance. Oz meets Jimmy’s wife (Yanni’s captive), flips for her, and the double-crosses mount. Even Jill isn’t whom she seems. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

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The day before Globodyne’s stock tanks, a la Enron, and its pension fund evaporates, the corporation’s CEO and CFO set up middle manager Dick Harper to be the public face of the disaster. Jobless, and with no savings, pension, or home equity, Dick and his wife Jane sink slowly into poverty. He looks for work (as do all former Globodyne executives); he even tries day labor with the relatives of their Mexican nanny. A foreclosure notice sends Dick and Jane over the edge into a life of blue-collar crime. Then, as things finally look up, the report of an looming indictment pushes Dick and Jane toward a denouement with the real criminals, the white-collar guys. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

Determined to solve the coincidence of seeing the same conspicuous stranger three times in a day, Albert hires a pair of existentialist detectives, who insist on spying on his everyday life while sharing their views on life and the nature of the universe. Written by Benjamin Conway

In a castle high on top of a hill lives an inventor’s greatest creation - Edward, a near-complete person. The creator died before he could finish Edward’s hands; instead, Edward is left with metal scissors for hands. Edward has always lived alone, until a kind lady called Peg discovers Edward and welcomes him into her home. At first, everyone welcomes Edward into the community, but soon things begin to take a change for the worse. Written by FilmFanUK

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Deacon, Matt and Fred will do anything for even a glimpse of sex and spend their mornings pirating porno movies from Fred’s after school job at the video store. But when Fred is fired, the well runs dry, and our heroes come up with a new plan: make their own “adult” film. Written by Anonymous

Do not go into “Bad Santa” thinking you’re about to see the normal ‘Christmas is magical, everyone goes to bed with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, and behind every Scrooge there’s a jolly old elf just waiting to emerge’ movie. First of all, Christmas is only magical for the first 15 minutes of shopping when the reality of overpriced presents and pushy crowds hasn’t yet sunk in. Secondly, I don’t know a single person who ever dreamed of sugarplums. And third, miraculous transformations are more in keeping with fairy tales than real life. Sometimes a Scrooge just is a Scrooge. “Bad Santa” takes those cynical thoughts to the extreme, gleefully lashing out at the holiday season and all those sticky sweet Hollywood movies with ho ho happy endings.

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A man returns to his home town after being away and discovers a severed human ear in a field. Not satisfied with the police’s pace, he and the police detective’s daughter carry out their own investigation. The object of his investigation turns out to be a beautiful and mysterious woman involved with a violent and perversely evil man. Written by Mark Logan {marklo@west.sun.com}

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