Ridley, Ridley, Ridley. I enjoyed your “Gladiator” and marveled at your ability to make the past come alive, so it pains me to say “Kingdom of Heaven” is no “Gladiator.” It’s not even a “Troy.” It’s better than Oliver Stone’s “Alexander,” but that’s not saying much.

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“Exorcist: The Beginning” has a firm grip on the title ‘Worst Movie of 2004.’ And it’s in strong contention for Worst Movie of the Decade, a title currently held on my list by “Gigli.” “The Beginning” is a disjointed, unintelligible mess that’s a very poor relation to the classic “The Exorcist.”

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With this sequel to his prize-winning independent previous film, “El Mariachi,” director Robert Rodriquez joins the ranks of Sam Peckinpah and John Woo as a master of slick, glamorized ultra-violence. We pick up the story as a continuation of “El Mariachi,” where an itinerant musician, looking for work, gets mistaken for a hitman and thereby entangled in a web of love, corruption, and death. This time, he is out to avenge the murder of his lover and the maiming of his fretting hand, which occurred at the end of the earlier movie. However, the plot is recapitulated, and again, a case of mistaken identity leads to a very high body count, involvement with a beautiful woman who works for the local drug lord, and finally, the inevitable face-to-face confrontation and bloody showdown. Written by Tad Dibbern {DIBBERN_D@a1.mscf.upenn.edu}

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After “Attack of the Clones” I swore off anything to do with “Star Wars.” Lucas had taken the “Star Wars” franchise to such an unsatisfying, dull and unappealing place, it appeared there wasn’t any way to salvage the saga. He redeems himself with “Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith.” Lucas remembers to edge the darkness and hostilities with wit and humor, and he ties up a lot of loose ends without taking too many storytelling liberties.

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I find it really strange anyone would watch “The Punisher” and come out upset about the film’s violence. Come on. Did anyone seriously believe a movie called “The Punisher” would be about kitty cats and dandelions? Watch the trailer or pick up the comic book the movie’s based on and it’s readily apparent this isn’t your average ‘fun’ comic book subject. Speaking of comic books, it’s time to issue my disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don’t know anything about comic books, yada, yada, yada, don’t expect this review to compare and contrast the source material to the movie, and so on. From what I gather from my limited research into the realm of comics, “The Punisher” in comic book form is a dark tale, as is the movie.

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In World War II, the outcome of the battle of Guadalcanal will strongly influence the Japanese’s advance into the pacific. A group of young soldiers is brought in as a relief for the battle-weary Marine units. The exhausting fight for a key-positioned airfield that allows control over a 1000-mile radius puts the men of the Army Rifle company C-for-Charlie through hell. The horrors of war forms the soldiers into a tight-knit group, their emotions develop into bonds of love and even family. The reasons for this war get further away as the world for the men gets smaller and smaller until their fighting is for mere survival and the life of the other men with them. Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

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I’ve issued this disclaimer many times before (“Spider-Man,” “The Hulk,” and “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”) but reiterating it one more time can’t hurt: I don’t know anything about comic books. Therefore, as with my other reviews of movies based on that source, I’m reviewing “Hellboy” without any background knowledge of the story or the characters. I’m reviewing the film as a “Hellboy” virgin.

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A group of young offenders, sent to an island for some character building exercises, suddenly looses one of their fellow inmates and being hunted by some merciless slayer armed with the crossbow, who keeps a pack of blood-thirsty dogs. Guys should be united in order to survive.

After discovering a passenger ship missing since 1962 floating adrift on the Bering Sea, salvagers claim the vessel as their own. Once they begin towing the ghost ship towards harbor, a series of bizarre ocurrences happen and the group becomes trapped inside the ship, which they soon learn is inhabited by a demonic creature. Written by EliMai

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In the distant future high school kids are encouraged to become citizens by joining the military. What they don’t know is that they’ll soon be engaged in a full scale war against a planet of alien insects. The fight is on to ensure the safety of humanity. Written by Christopher Van Pelt

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