If “Lords of Dogtown,” the Hollywood movie not the documentary, truly represents what Jay Adams, Stacy Peralta, Tony Alva and the rest of Z-Boys experienced while turning the sport of skateboarding on its head, then it’s a wonder anyone ever wanted to pick up a board and follow their lead. “Lords of Dogtown” makes the sport seem about as much fun as having your toenails ripped off one by one.

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Jerome, a kid from the suburbs who loves to draw, goes to New York City’s Strathmore College for his freshman year as a drawing major. Competition and petty jealousy consume faculty and students, with an end-of-first-semester best-student award held out as a grand plum. Worse, a strangler is on the loose, killing people on or next to campus. The idealistic Jerome falls in love with Audrey, a student who models for life-drawing classes and who responds to his sweetness. But he has a rival: the clean-cut, manly Jonah, also a first-year drawing student, whose primitive work draws raves and Audrey’s attention. As cynicism seems to corrode everything, Jerome is desperate to win. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

Peter Pan (Williams) has grown up to be a cut-throat merger and acquisitions lawyer, and is married to Wendy’s granddaughter. Captain Hook (Hoffman) kidnaps his children, and Peter returns to Never Land with Tinkerbell (Roberts). With the help of her and the Lost Boys, he must remember how to be Peter Pan again in order to save his children by battling with Captain Hook once again. Written by Ed Sutton {esutton@mindspring.com}

The “Little Red Hiding Hood” fairytale gets an imaginative update. After The Wolf is found at Granny’s charged with an intent to eat an investigation starts up by Nick Fippers. Red, The Wolf, The Woodsman and Granny give their stories, Flippers and Chief Grizzly and the rest of the police try to find out who is the Goodie Bandit. Written by Kris Hopson

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The Bakers, a family of 12, move from small-town Illinois to the big city after Tom Baker gets his dream job to coach his alma mater’s football team. Meanwhile, his wife also gets her dream of getting her book published. While she’s away promoting the book, Tom has a hard time keeping the house in order while at the same time coaching his football team, as the once happy family starts falling apart. Written by Anonymous

“Grind” sets out to authentically portray the skater lifestyle but unfortunately loses its way after the first half hour or so. What starts out as a promising buddy/road trip movie soon deteriorates into one of the most disjointed comedies (I’m using that term very loosely) of the year. “Grind” is funny when it doesn’t intend to be, and too often falls flat when it does go for the laugh.

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