Painful as it is for Woody Allen fans to accept, it must now be said out loud (not just whispered in dark corners). Woody Allen can not write for 20-somethings. The dialogue in “Match Point” is stilted, delivered as though it’s lifted directly off the page. The overall effect is that the actors appear to be in a play rather than experiencing life.

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John Lee is the best hitman money can buy. But when John refuses to kill because of the seven year-old son of his target, John’s bosses send someone after John to kill him and then take his place in the ring of hitmen. John then teams up with Meg Coburn to help him escape these “Replacement Killers.” Written by Anonymous

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Melvin Smiley, a successful young hitman, is living a normal all-day life for his jewish fiancé Pam, but kills for money in Paris’ organization. In addition, he has a relationship with a beauty from the neighbourhood and gets bothered by a pimply video store guy, because he did not return “King Kong Lives” for two weeks. He and his three teammates Cisco, Crunch and Vince one day decide to kidnap the daughter of super-rich businessman Jiro Nishi - off the record. What they do not know, is that Jiro just went completely bankrupt due to a successless movie production, and, even worse, that his daughter Keiko is the god-daughter of Paris, the boss of the kidnappers. He and his men are now searching for the kidnappers in order to grind them up properly. Meanwhile, handcuffed Keiko falls in love with killer Melvin while both preparing a kosher meal in order to satisfy Pam’s visiting parents, who are out of the house with Pam - with a body in the trunk. Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

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Rural Australia in the late nineteenth century: Capt. Stanley and his men capture two of the four Burns brothers, Charlie and Mike. Their gang is held responsible for attacking the Hopkins farm, raping pregnant Mrs. Hopkins and murdering the whole family. Arthur Burns, the eldest brother and the gang’s mastermind, remains at large has and has retreated to a mountain hideout. Capt. Stanley’s proposition to Charlie is to gain pardon and - more importantly - save his beloved younger brother Mike from the gallows by finding and killing Arthur within nine days. Written by Armin Ortmann {armin@sfb288.math.tu-berlin.de}

College student Lewis decides to drive across the country to see Venna, a friend who doesn’t know that Lewis is interested in her romantically. Unfortunately for his plans, Lewis gets saddled with his raucous-spirited older brother, Fuller, whose on-the-road pranks get the brothers and Venna sucked into a nightmare when a psychotic truckdriver takes offense. Written by Jim Beaver {jumblejim@prodigy.net}

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I find it really strange anyone would watch “The Punisher” and come out upset about the film’s violence. Come on. Did anyone seriously believe a movie called “The Punisher” would be about kitty cats and dandelions? Watch the trailer or pick up the comic book the movie’s based on and it’s readily apparent this isn’t your average ‘fun’ comic book subject. Speaking of comic books, it’s time to issue my disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don’t know anything about comic books, yada, yada, yada, don’t expect this review to compare and contrast the source material to the movie, and so on. From what I gather from my limited research into the realm of comics, “The Punisher” in comic book form is a dark tale, as is the movie.

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Alice awakens from a terrible sleep to find her worst fears realized–the bloodthirsty Undead, which she and the now-annihilated squad of elite military fought to destroy, have been unleashed on the city that surrounds the secret facility of the Umbrella Corporation. Discovering she was an Umbrella experiment, Alice has been bio-genetically enhanced with new strengths, senses and dexterity–and she will need them. In the heart of the ravaged Raccoon City, a small group of uninfected people, including Jill Valentine, a recently demoted member of Umbrella Corp’s elite Special Tactics and Rescue Services team, and S.T.A.R.S team leader Carlos Oliveira, fight for their lives against swarms of Undead and the deadlier and faster Lickers. Running out of luck and resources, the group is rescued by Alice, and they begin to wage an exhilarating battle to survive and escape before the Umbrella Corporation erases its experiment from the face of the earth. Their only hope lies somewhere within Raccoon City–Dr Charles Ashford, one of the leading scientists for the Umbrella Corporation, will help Alice and the others escape the city safely–if they find his daughter. Angie Ashford became separated from her father and now hides in fear. Alice, Jill and Carlos will have to fight their way through an army of Undead to save her. All the while, a secret weapon code-named Nemesis has been experimentally altered with greater modifications than Alice and has been programmed to track and destroy them. They will need all their strengths and skills to fight the battle of their lives against the mindless evil that has infected the city and the powerful forces that unleashed it on mankind. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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In the 60’s, the Puerto Rican Carlito Brigante, the Afro-American Earl and the Italian Rocco become best friends while in prison. When they are released, Rocco intermediates a heroin business with a family of the Italian Mafia leaded by Artie Bottolota Sr. Carlito negotiates with the lord Leroy “Hollywood Nicky” Barnes the area where the trio could operate in his neighborhood and sooner the three friends become powerful. Later, Carlito dates and has an affair with the beautiful Leticia. When Earl decides to move to Barbados with his girlfriend and leave the heroin business, his stupid younger brother causes a situation with the Italian mobsters, and Carlito and Rocco have to resolve the mess to save their lives. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Intrepid British archaeologist Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) has made perhaps the most important archaeological discovery in history: an orb that leads to the mythical Pandora’s Box. Unfortunately, the orb falls into the hands of Jonathan Reiss (Ciarán Hinds), an evil scientist who deals in killer viruses and hopes to sell the secrets of the box as the ultimate weapon. Recruited by British Intelligence to get the orb back from Reiss, Lara recruits Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler), a British marine turned mercenary (and her former love interest) to help. The two embark on an adventure that spans continents in an attempt to regain the orb… Written by Gavin Nelson

Whether or not you are a fan of the 1986 “Manhunter” (also based on Thomas Harris’ “Red Dragon“), you’ve got to admit that seeing Sir Anthony Hopkins crawl into Hannibal Lecter’s skin one more time makes for gripping entertainment.

“Manhunter” was a different film - different cast, different script, different. Period. End of statement. For the benefit of this review, let’s allow “Red Dragon” to pass or fail on its own merits. There are countless books that have been made into multiple films by different filmmakers and hundreds of movies that are simply remakes of earlier versions. What’s the point of debating whether or not Brett Ratner’s “Red Dragon” needed to be made in the first place? It’s done already; let’s get past it.

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