The best thing I can say about “Timeline” is that it’s filled with some of the finest male eye candy on screen (only adding Colin Farrell or Ewan McGregor would have topped the team of Gerard Butler and Paul Walker). Now that’s not to put down the acting ability of Butler or even Walker, it just speaks to the truth of the matter: without something pleasant to look at, I would have lost interest in “Timeline” before the end of the first hour. As it was, Butler and Walker provided enough testosterone to at least keep me from completely tuning out of this sadly unfulfilling screen adaptation of Michael Crichton’s bestseller.

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Nine strangers - a priest; a dancer; a designer; an aspirant rapper; a former tennis pro; a woman on probation; an unsuccessful composer and his wife; and a detective - are randomly abducted, drugged and locked in a house by a wealthy maniac. They are informed through a public address system that there are seventy-five cameras following them, and only one will survive and win US$ 5,000,000.00 to keep quiet. The psychological game begins, with fear and greed affecting the participants. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Diana the ‘People’s Princess’ has died in a car accident in Paris. The Queen (Mirren) and her family decide that for the best, they should remain hidden behind the closed doors of Balmoral Castle. The heartbroken public do not understand and request that the Queen confronts her people. This also puts pressure on newly elected Tony Blair (Sheen), who constantly tries to convince the monarchy to address the public. Written by Film_Fan

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A bounty hunter is on the trail of a conman who skipped bail. The two wind up in a deserted warehouse where they witness a diamond scam in action, caught in the midst they put their differences aside to team up and detain the looters. Written by ze

A wild, freeform, Rabelaisian trip through the darkest recesses of Edinburgh low-life, focusing on Mark Renton and his attempt to give up his heroin habit, and how the latter affects his relationship with family and friends: Sean Connery wannabe Sick Boy, dimbulb Spud, psycho Begbie, 14-year-old girlfriend Diane, and clean-cut athlete Tommy, who’s never touched drugs but can’t help being curious about them… Written by Michael Brooke {michael@everyman.demon.co.uk}

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