Harris Telemacher is the “Wacky Weather” presenter for a Los Angeles television station. He finds himself battling the insane conditions and people caused by the manic chaos that is Los Angeles. Striving to achieve happiness (or at least a date), he finds a helping hand from the last person he expected: the city of Los Angeles itself. Written by Murray Chapman {muzzle@cs.uq.oz.au}

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In a fantasy world of opposing kingdoms, a 15-year old girl named Helena who works at the family circus with her father and mother, who wishes–quite ironically–that she could run away from the circus and join ‘real life’. But such is not to be the case, as she finds herself on a strange journey into the Dark Lands, a fantastic landscape filled with giants, Monkeybirds and dangerous sphinxes. She must find the fabled MirrorMask in order to save the kingdom and get back home. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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The archvillains of The United Underworld - The Catwoman, The Joker, The Riddler and The Penguin - combine forces to dispose of Batman and Robin as they launch their fantastic plot to control the entire world. From his submarine, Penguin and his cohorts hijack a yacht containing a superdehydrator, which can extract all moisture from humans and reduce them to particles of dust. The evildoers turn the 9 Security Council members in the United World Building into 9 vials of multicolored crystals! Batman and Robin track the villains in their Batboat and use Batcharge missles to force the sub to surface. Written by Aaron Handy III {ah07@gnofn.org}

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Frank Martin is the best in the business. The ex-Special Forces operative hires himself out as a mercenary “transporter” who moves goods–human or otherwise. Very simple, he delivers, no questions asked. Frank has relocated from the French Mediterranean to Miami, Florida, where as a favor to a friend, Frank is driving for the wealthy Billings family. There’s very little that can surprise The Transporter, but young Jack Billings has done just that; Frank has unexpectedly bonded with Jack, age 6, who he drives to and from school. But when Jack is kidnapped, Frank must use his battle-tested combat skills to retrieve the boy and thwart the kidnappers’ master plan to release a virus that will kill anyone with whom it comes in contact. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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on Howard and Tom Hanks miss the boat with this uninspired and flat adaptation of Dan Brown’s controversial bestseller, The Da Vinci Code. It’s sad (even disturbing) to admit but those who’ve banned the film may actually have done potential ticket buyers a favor.

Denzel Washington and Clive Owen deliver first-rate performances in director Spike Lee’s “Inside Man,” a clever, engaging film that’s considerably better than the average heist movie.

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“National Treasure” is a summer movie released a few months too late. It’s one of those big action/goofball plot/popcorn movies that does well during the long, hot days of summer. Why it’s hitting theaters smack dab in the middle of what’s unofficially referred to as the Oscar-hopeful season is a bit of mystery. Not quite as big of a mystery as what made the filmmakers cast Diane Kruger as Nicolas Cage’s love interest (I like her but she’s way out of her league in this film), but a head-scratcher nonetheless.

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John McClane is now almost a full-blown alcoholic and is suspended from the NYPD. But when a bomb goes off in the Bonwit Teller Department Store the police go insane trying to figure out what’s going on. Soon, a man named Simon calls and asks for McClane. Simon tells Inspector Walter Cobb that McClane is going to play a game called “Simon Says“. He says that McClane is going to do the tasks he assigns him. If not, he’ll blow off another bomb. With the help of a Harlem electrician, John McClane must race all over New York trying to figure out the frustrating puzzles that the crafty terrorist gives him. But when a bomb goes off in a subway station right by the Federal Reserve (the biggest gold storage in the world) things start to get heated up. Written by SARSman1793

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Lula’s psychopathic mother goes crazy at the thought of Lula being with Sailor, who just got free from jail. Ignoring Sailor’s probation, they set out for California. However their mother hires a killer to hunt down Sailor. Unaware of this, the two enjoy their journey and themselves being together… until they witness a young woman dying after a car accident - a bad omen. Written by Tom Zoerner {Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de}

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