Occasionally the genre will even sneak in a movie that’s above and beyond the norm – Love Actually, Knocked Up, and When Harry Met Sally come to mind – but for the most part the genre’s loaded with fun but forgettable fare. Unfortunately, the romantic comedy world also has more than its share of real stinkers. A brand new one of those was just added to the pot with Fool’s Gold.

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Cheech and Chong meet up by chance on the highway somewhere in California. They go in search of some dope and are accidentally deported to Mexico where in their desperation to get home they agree to drive a van back to the States so they can get back in time for a gig they are due to play. Unaware of the properties from which the van is constructed they make their way back having aquired a couple of female hitch-hikers whilst all the time avoiding the cops whom they are not even aware are following them. Written by Garry ‘Gadget’ Myles {garry.myles@mercury.co.uk}

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Nicolas Cage’s hair is the most memorable thing about Next, a sci-fi thriller directed with semi-verve by Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day, XXX: State of the Union). Tamahori knows action but that can’t save the irritatingly pointless Next from taking one disastrous misstep after another. Clever editing and an intriguing premise are wasted when on a film that’s loaded with plot holes and loopy logic, and filled with incredibly bad dialogue.

During the Napoleonic Wars, a British frigate, HMS Surprise, and a much larger French warship, the Acheron, with greater fire power, stalk each other off of the coast of South America. Russell Crowe brings great intensity to the role of Captain Jack Aubrey. Lucky Jack, as he is referred to by his crew, is well regarded by his men, who trust him implicitly, even after the first devastating battle and an apparent personal vendetta against the French captain. While the naval battle sequences are quite fantastic, the film is successful because director Weir chose to build the story to get to know the men who are locked aboard the tight quarters of a small ship and how they interact everyday. The officers and the mates are well-known by the time the final battle comes. Paul Bettany offers a strong performance as the surgeon and naturalist who balances the violence of his chosen life with the quiet demeanor of the scientist. He is the captain’s friend and confidant, the two frequently playing violin and cello duets together. The horrors of the injuries from the war are frequently implied, but vividly depicted in the reactions of the characters. Written by John Sacksteder {jsackste@bellsouth.net}

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Young FBI agent Clarice Starling is assigned to help find a missing woman to save her from a psychopathic serial killer who skins his victims. Clarice attempts to gain a better insight into the twisted mind of the killer by talking to another psychopath Hannibal Lecter, who used to be a respected psychiatrist. FBI agent Jack Crawford believes that Lecter who is also a very powerful and clever mind manipulator have the answers to their questions to help locate the killer. Clarice must first try and gain Lecter’s confidence before he is to give away any information. Written by Sami Al-Taher {staher2000@yahoo.com}

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Three fraternal bank robbers languishing in jail, discover a profitable (if not dodgy) way to spend their time. Crime can most certainly pay, if you “know wot I mean?” However when sex and greed rear-up between the good crims and the bad cops, the consequences are both bizarre and fatal. Written by Noel C. Bailey {uds3@hotmail.com}

Frozen in 1996, Phoenix, a convicted killer is “thawed” out for parole well into the 21st century. Revived into a crime free society, Phoenix resumes his murderous rampage, and no one can stop him. Spartan, the cop who captured Phoenix in 1996 has also been cryogenically frozen, this time for a crime he didn’t commit. In desperation they turn to Spartan to help recapture Phoenix. Written by Rob Hartill

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