Numerous New York City-dwellers come to the exclusive club Shortbus to work out problems in their sexual relationships. Rob and Sophia are a happily married couple, except for the fact that she has never experienced sexual climax. This irony follows her to work, because she is a couples counselor who frequently has to deal with the sexual issues other couples have. Two of her patients are Jamie and James, a gay couple who have been monogamous for five years and counting. James wants to bring other men in to the relationship, and his own history with depression may hint at an ulterior motive. Ceth (Pronounced like Seth) may be the perfect addition to their family, but Caleb, a voyeur from across the street, may have his own ideas about that. Sophia visits Severin, a dominatrix with secrets of her own to reveal. Written by Anonymous

Gal, Deedee, Aitch and Jackie, having left behind respective lives of ill-repute, bask in the sun of Spain and in the most essential brand of leisure. A hazy yarn of barbecues, beer and botched hunting expeditions make up their retirements, until a sudden and unforeseen disruption emerges from their past. Enter the childishly violent and hilariously edgy Don Logan. Through a series of side-splitting negotiations and irrevocable acts, retired crook Gal is forced to shake off the rust and accept one last mission, put forth by the menacing Logan, his ex-mentor. A heist of legendary proportion and personal implications, this job should make for one hell of an encore. Written by gjtackach@gmail.com

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Derek Zoolander is VH1’s three time male model of the year, but when Hansel wins the award instead, Zoolander’s world becomes upside down. His friends disappear, his father is disappointed in him, and he feels that he’s not good as a model anymore. But when evil fashion guru Mugato hires Zoolander, he thinks his life has turned back round again, that is until he finds out that Mugato has actually brainwashed him to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Can Zoolander and his new friends find out how to prevent the incident before it’s too late? Written by FilmFanUK

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Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, born in the stench of eighteenth century Paris, develops a superior olfactory sense, which he uses to create the world’s finest perfumes. His work, however, takes a dark turn as he tries to preserve scents in the search for the ultimate perfume. Written by Nuno Cordeiro

Roman slave Lurkio inadvertently becomes the possessor of a scroll naming the proposed assassins of the Emperor Nero. Administering to the participants of his master’s orgy guests seems small compared to the trouble the scroll brings - but all are in for a nasty shock when Mount Vesuvius decides to erupt. Written by Rhino {rhino@blueyonder.co.uk}

Joe Young was a simple young man trying to spread the word of the Book of Mormon when he picked the wrong house to preach at! The owner, a porn director named Maxxx Orbison, tells his henchmen to kill the guy at the door who interrupted their scene, but Joe fights off the guards with great skill, which impresses Maxxx so much that he offers Joe the lead role in the movie he’s making at the moment: Orgazmo, which is about a sex superhero who fights crime with his Orgazmorator and ChodaBoy, his sidekick. Joe, against his beliefs, takes the job so that he can pay for the wedding he plans for he and his fiancee, who he doesn’t tell about his risque new acting job. However, when the movie becomes an amazing hit just about everywhere and he finds out that Ben (ChodaBoy) has created a real Orgazmorator, Joe is in some serious hot water! Written by Danii

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Satire. Four troubled orphans from four separate movie scenario’s who are bind together in a wacky chocolate factory after receiving golden tickets to go on an ‘epic adventure.’ After they escape from the clutches of a very scary Willy Wonka they discover the magical world of ‘Gnarnia’ through an enchanted wardrobe. There they must seek the help of a randy lion, a hoard of mutants from the x academy, students of witchcraft and wizardry, funky swash-buckling pirates and a mischievous beaver to defeat the evil white bitch! A movie of Epic Proportions indeed! Written by MovieMagic

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A barbarian trained in the arts of war joins with thieves in a quest to solve the riddle of steel and find the sorcerer responsible for the genocide of his people in this faithful adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s sword and sorcery adventures. This film briefly sparked a wave of fantasy films including the sequel, Conan the Destroyer, in the early 80s. Written by Keith Loh {loh@sfu.ca}

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Harry Angel has a new case, to find a man called Johnny Favourite. Except things aren’t quite that simple, and Johnny doesn’t want to be found. Let’s just say that, amongst the period detail and beautiful scenery, it all gets really, really nasty. Written by David Carroll {davidc@atom.ansto.gov.au}

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Drugs. They consume mind, body and soul. Once you’re hooked, you’re hooked. Four lives. Four addicts. Four failures. Doing their best to succeed in the world, but failing miserably, four people get hooked on various drugs. Despite their aspirations of greatness, they succumb to their addictions. Watching the addicts spiral out of control, we bear witness to the dirtiest, ugliest portions of the underworld addicts reside in. It is shocking and eye-opening but demands to be seen by both addicts and non-addicts alike. Written by Jeff Mellinger {jmell@uclink4.berkeley.edu}

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