Joe Dirt is a janitor with a mullet hairdo, acid-washed jeans and a dream to find the parents that he lost at the Grand Canyon when he was a belligerent, trailer park-raised eight-year-old. Now, blasting Van Halen in his jacked-up economy car, the irrepressibly optimistic Joe hits the road alone in search of his folks. As his wandering, misguided search takes him from one hilarious misadventure to another, Joe finds his way to Los Angeles, where a shock-jock brings Joe on his radio show to insult him. But as Joe’s life story unfolds, jeers turn to cheers, and an entire captivated city tunes in to hear the adventures of Joe Dirt. Written by Anonymous

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The Duchy of Grand Fenwick decides that the only way to get out of their economic woes is to declare war on the United States, lose and accept foreign aid. They send an invasion force to New York (armed with longbows) which arrives during a nuclear drill that has cleared the streets. Wandering about to find someone to surrender to, they discover a scientist with a special ultimate weapon that can destroy the Earth. When they capture him and his bomb they are faced with a new possibility: What do you do when you win a war? Written by John Vogel {jlvogel@comcast.net}

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In a far away, long ago kingdom, Cinderella is living happily with her mother and father until her mother dies. Cinderella’s father remarries a cold, cruel woman who has two daughters, Drizella and Anastasia. When the father dies, Cinderella’s wicked stepmother turns her into a virtual servant in her own house. Meanwhile, across town in the castle, the King determines that his son the Prince should find a suitable bride and provide him with a required number of grandchildren. So the King invites every eligible maiden in the kingdom to a fancy dress ball, where his son will be able to choose his bride. Cinderella has no suitable party dress for a ball, but her friends the mice, lead by Jaques and Gus, and the birds lend a hand in making her one, a dress the evil stepsisters immediately tear apart on the evening of the ball. At this point, enter the Fairy Godmother, the pumpkin carriage, the royal ball, the stroke of midnight, the glass slipper, and the rest, as they say, is fairy tale history. Written by filmfactsman

A montage of French nuclear tests in the Pacific Ocean, observed by many marine iguanas. Then, in present days, a Japanese fishing ship is being attacked by an unseen monster; only one survived. Traumatized, he is later questioned in a hospital by a mysterious Frenchman and repeatedly says only one word –”Gojira”. NRC scientist Niko “Nick” Tatopolous is called in to investigate the matter, and he quickly arrives at the conclusion that a giant, irradiated lizard known as Godzilla has been created by the explosions. Then Godzilla makes its way north, landing at Manhattan to begin wreaking havoc in the big city! Even with the combined forces of the U.S. military are going to destroy Godzilla at all costs, but will it ever be enough to save the people of New York? Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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Two trains crash somewhere in Russia, one carrying a nuclear payload. A nuclear explosion follows the crash and the world is on alert… However, White House nuclear expert Dr. Julia Kelly (Nicole Kidman) doesn’t think it was an accident… Special Forces Intelligence Officer Colonel Thomas Devoe (George Clooney) doesn’t think so either… Together they must unravel a conspiracy that goes from Europe to New York, to stop a terrorist who has no demands… Written by M. Belanger {belgrima@pananet.com}

In October, 1962, U-2 surveillance photos reveal that the Soviet Union is in the process of placing nuclear weapons in Cuba. These weapons have the capability of wiping out most of the Eastern and Southern United States in minutes if they become operational. President John F. Kennedy and his advisors must come up with a plan of action against the Soviets. Kennedy is determined to show that he is strong enough to stand up to the threat, and the Pentagon advises U.S. military strikes against Cuba–which could lead the way to another U.S. invasion of the island. However, Kennedy is reluctant to follow through, because a U.S. invasion could cause the Soviets to retaliate in Europe. A nuclear showdown appears to be almost inevitable. Can it be prevented? Written by {jgp3553@excite.com}

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Special agent Harry Tasker gets out of the water outside a heavily guarded mansion, takes off his wetsuit, and there is a dinner jacket underneath. Harry strolls into a swanky party. Harry meets with Juno Skinner, steals some computer files, and escapes in a blaze of gunfire. He’s picked up by his partner, Albert “Gib” Gibson, and they return to the United States. Harry goes home to his wife Helen. Helen doesn’t know what Harry does because he pretends to be a computer salesman. Their 14-year-old daughter Dana is a sullen teenager, and Helen is so bored by the routine of her life that she’s on the verge of having an affair with used-car salesman Simon, who claims to be a spy. Harry is hot on the trail of a group of terrorists led by Salim Abu Aziz. Aziz and his men are smuggling nuclear weapons into the USA in pieces of Persian art, and Aziz plans to hold the country hostage in the name of the Crimson Jihad. Harry’s also out to save his marriage when he discovers Helen with Simon, who still claims to be a spy. Harry uses the Agency’s resources to give Helen a taste of the real thing. Harry blackmails Helen into seducing an enemy agent — Harry himself — in a hotel room, but their tryst is interrupted by Aziz’s men, who kidnap them and take them to one of the Florida Keys, where they’re preparing to detonate their nuclear bomb. Harry escapes and rescues Helen, and then they discover that Aziz has gone to Miami and kidnapped Dana. Harry uses a harrier jet to get to Miami, where he sets out to rescue Dana. Written by Todd Baldridge

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Young Danny Madigan is a big fan of Jack Slater, a larger-than-life action hero played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. When his best friend, Nick the projectionist, gives him a magic ticket to the new Jack Slater film, Danny is transported into Slater’s world, where the good guys always win. One of Slater’s enemies, Benedict the hitman, gets hold of the ticket and ends up in Danny’s world, where he realises that if he can kill Schwarzenegger, Slater will be no more. Slater and Danny must travel back and stop him. Written by Alexander Lum {aj_lum@postoffice.utas.edu.au}

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James Bond is back again and his new mission is to find out how a Royal Navy Polaris submarine holding sixteen nuclear warheads simply disappear whilst on patrol. Bond joins Major Anya Amasova and takes on a a web handed mastermind, known as Karl Stromberg, as well as his henchman Jaw, who contains a mouth of metal teeth. Bond must track down the locations of the missing submarine before the warheads are fired. Written by simon

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More than 10 years after ‘Terminator 2′, John Connor now exists only as a drifter - living ‘off the grid’, so no more Terminators from the future can hunt him down. Unfortunately, SkyNet does send another one back - and this one is called the T-X, even more powerful & advanced than the dreaded T-1000. However, another CSM-101 Terminator is also sent back to protect John against the T-X. Now, Skynet is patiently assuming control of civilian computer systems, under the guise of a computer virus. John has also met his future wife, Kate Brewster, whose father - a U.S. Air Force General - is in charge of the military computer systems & is leery of up linking SkyNet. However, when the SkyNet virus infects the U.S military computers & leaves the country open to attack, the machines begin their horrific takeover. Soon a nuclear war will result - and the war against the machines will begin. Can the outdated CSM-101 Terminator eliminate the highly advanced T-X - or will a darker future await man following the nuclear attack? Written by Derek O’Cain

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