If it weren’t for the brilliant job done by Mortensen as a ruthless Russian mobster and by Naomi Watts as a concerned midwife, Eastern Promises could be considered a real step down from A History of Violence. However, Mortensen and Watts lift Eastern Promises up and it’s because of their performances this movie works reasonably well as a character-driven drama, rather than a straight-up thriller.

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In rural Texas, welder and hunter Llewelyn Moss discovers the remains of several drug runners who have all killed each other in an exchange gone violently wrong. Rather than report the discovery to the police, Moss decides to simply take the two million dollars present for himself. This puts the psychopathic killer, Anton Chigurh, on his trail as he dispassionately murders nearly every rival, bystander and even employer in his pursuit of his quarry and the money. As Moss desperately attempts to keep one step ahead, the blood from this hunt begins to flow behind him with relentlessly growing intensity as Chigurh closes in. Meanwhile, the laconic Sherrif Ed Tom Bell blithely oversees the investigation even as he struggles to face the sheer enormity of the crimes he is attempting to thwart. Written by Kenneth Chisholm (kchishol@rogers.com)

John Rambo is a disoriented Vietnam Vet. He is hitchhiking from town to town to see friends from the war. A sheriff tries to make him leave town and when he refuses, arrests him for vagrancy. While in jail, a deputy takes delight in abusing him. Rambo escapes showing his old Vietnam fighting skills and takes to the woods as the sheriff and deputies try and find him in his element. Things get out of hand as Colonel Trautman Rambo’s old commander appears to shed light on the situation. Written by John Vogel {jlvogel@comcast.net}

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A story set against the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the film is based upon the tragedy which occurred in Utah in 1857. A group of settlers, traveling on wagons, was murdered by the native Mormons. All together, about 140 souls of men, women and children, were taken. Amidst this, two young lovers-to-be, one a Mormon and the other one of the doomed settlers from Arkansas, develop a relationship in an atmosphere of suspicion and rancor. Written by Ploy P.

A madcap portrayal of William Lightbody’s stay at the health farm run by cereal king Dr. John Harvey Kellogg. William’s wife, Eleanor, has persuaded him to go to Kellogg to have his system cleaned of impurities. Kellogg is very unconventional, and almost barbaric in his treatments. Written by Rob Hartill

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Timothy Lea and his brother-in-law Sidney decide upon opening a driving school as their latest get-rich-quick scheme. Though he sincerely wants to teach, young Timmy finds that his female students are far more interested in keeping their eyes on him than on the road. Written by Jean-Marc Rocher {rocher@fiberbit.net}

We follow a bunch of high school kids through a period in their puberty. Their lives mainly consist of watching the girls in the shower and making life a living hell for their teachers and for each other. The movie is packed with practical jokes and eccentric characters, like Pee Wee with the short dick (which he measures every morning) who met up for sex with the school “mattress” Wendy already wearing a rubber, or the fat teaching bitch Beulah Balbricker who is determined on making life a living hell for the boys. The name “Porky’s” is the name of a striptease bar the boys get thrown out of and humiliated in in the beginning of the movie. They have their minds set on revenge, but that’s not easy as the owner’s brother is sheriff. Only by forgetting their internal differences can they defeat Porky and his gang. Written by Rune Dahl Fitjar {rfitjar@online.no}

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Thorny, Mac, Rabbit, Foster and Farva are Vermont state troopers out to have a good time. Stationed in a remote area near the Canadian border, the troopers, avid pranksters with an affinity for syrup, have a knack for screwing up on the job. But when budget cuts in the town of Spurbury threaten their livelihood and pit them against arch-rival Spurbury P.D., the five friends try to straighten up and fly right. That is, until a dead body is discovered and a possible drug ring is unearthed. The super troopers spring into action attempting to solve the crime, save their jobs, and outdo the local police department. Written by Anonymous

Matt Stifler, the younger brother of the legendary Steve Stifler, who made it big as Hollywood porn-producer and shamelessly ignores the idolizing kid brother, may claim the title of Stifmeister as his heritage, but even for his horniest mates he’s little more then a bad joke. When Matt alone gets caught red-handed for a prank with the school band’s instruments, present high school counselor Sherman ‘Sherminator’ finds great pleasure in taking revenge on him for the misbehavior Steve excelled even worse in, so instead of expelling the little prick, he condemns him to take part in band camp at Great Oaks, where Jim Levenstein’s still understanding dad is filling in for the feared problem counselor. As there are plenty of girls in the competing bands, Matt hopes to turn his (mis)fortune around by smuggling in camera equipment including a robot to shoot saucy, clandestine material for his counterpart to Steve’s hit video “Girls Gone Wild”, an at least as ‘revealing’ Bandies Gone Wild. Matt’s nerdy, yet also horny roomie Ernie was originally confined to the closet, but is promoted to assistant-producer when he proves himself an invaluable technician. Things get complicated as Matt becomes romantically involved with Elyse, his own school band’s director, whose ambition is to beat haughty five-fold winner Brandon Vandecamp -son of a famous, rich father- as band music composer and thus win a good shot at a scholarship for an exclusive music school. For her sake Matt turns musician (on the trivial triangle by her decree, bagpipes in surprising scenes) and proves his leadership skills, but courting a ‘decent’ girl just doesn’t square with voyeurism… Written by KGF Vissers

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