How can a movie with flames leaping all over the place, people in jeopardy, and firefighters bravely battling against immeasurable odds be such a yawner? I almost feel guilty calling this film a bore - there’s a post 9/11 vibe to it that makes disliking it seem a bit unpatriotic, which feels disingenuous to say the least - but that’s what it is. “Ladder 49” is a big, bloated, boring, heartless drama that tries too hard to be wrestle some tears from its poor unsuspecting audience.

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Orin Boyd (Seagal) is a Detroit cop who doesn’t follow rules. After he saved the Vice President by violating every order he received he is transferred to one of the worst precincts in the city. There he quickly encounters some corrupt cops selling heroin to drug dealers. The problem is, it’s very difficult to tell who is the bad guy and who you can trust. Written by Boris Shafir {borisshafir@hotmail.com}

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Earl and Hank have only one thing in common: they’re both L.A.P.D. rejects. One just got kicked out, the other can’t even get in. After confronting each other on opposite sides of the law during a traffic stop that escalates out of control, these two luckless individuals end up partnered as lowly security guards. Despite being damned to the lowest rung of the law enforcement ladder, Earl and Hank uncover a sophisticated smuggling operation led by Nash and his band of thugs. When Earl and Hank get their hands on some hot property, they go on the run from, first the bad guys, then the L.A.P.D.–led by Lt. Washington and Detective McDuff. What these two unlikely partners do to law enforcement is a crime, but they just might save the day. That is, if they don’t kill each other first. Written by Sujit R. Varma

Disgraced ex-England captain (Danny ‘Mean Machine‘ Meehan) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. Whilst in jail, he doesn’t recieve any favours because of his celebrity status in the outside world. He is out numbered and many prisoners constantly barrage him with insults for letting down his country in a crucial World Cup game. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. These prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards. The prisoners are lead by Danny and the whole of the prison, guards aside, are behind them. Game on…… Written by James Phillips

Back when the Earth was being overrun by glaciers, and animals were scurrying to save themselves from the upcoming Ice Age, a stupid sloth named Sid, a woolly mammoth named Manny, a saber-toothed tiger named Diego, and an acorn-loving saber-toothed squirrel named Scrat are forced to become unlikely heroes. The four reluctantly come together when they have to return a human child to its father while braving the deadly elements of the impending Ice Age. Written by Anna {dimenxia@yahoo.com}

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