Do you ever feel like everyone but you is in on the joke? I didn’t feel that way with Wes Anderson’s other films – “Bottle Rocket,” “Rushmore,” or the amazing “Royal Tenenbaums.” Those films were clever but never condescending. Those I understood and basically stood in awe of. But from the title to the bizarre action sequences, “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” left me feeling like an outsider looking in.

(more…)

The baby gorilla left in her care grows up to become a hugely tall and broad specimen by the name of Joe, living in the mountains as a mostly unseen legend among people who live there. Along comes an eco-minded emissary from a California sanctuary, who talks the jungle girl into providing safe haven for Joe at the L.A. facility. The transition is not without discomfort, but everything is aggravated via a conspiracy of poachers to get Joe into their own greedy hands! Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

(more…)

I find it really strange anyone would watch “The Punisher” and come out upset about the film’s violence. Come on. Did anyone seriously believe a movie called “The Punisher” would be about kitty cats and dandelions? Watch the trailer or pick up the comic book the movie’s based on and it’s readily apparent this isn’t your average ‘fun’ comic book subject. Speaking of comic books, it’s time to issue my disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don’t know anything about comic books, yada, yada, yada, don’t expect this review to compare and contrast the source material to the movie, and so on. From what I gather from my limited research into the realm of comics, “The Punisher” in comic book form is a dark tale, as is the movie.

(more…)

I get it! I finally understand the point of a guy dressing up in a batsuit and flying around Gotham fighting crime. Finally after all these years, someone’s found a way to make it all seem logical to a non-comic book person like myself.

(more…)

Ben Mears, a writer returns to the small Maine town of Jerusalem’s Lot (also known as Salem’s Lot), where he spent the first few years of his life, to write a book. Little does he or the townfolk realize that a couple of other new residents are coming…Straker, a antiques dealer, and his partner and master Barlow, a ancient and malevolent vampire bent on making Salem’s Lot his new home. Written by KLange

(more…)

In a galaxy far, far away, “Star Wars: Episode II - The Attack of the Clones” may be the franchise’s savior. Alas, here on this planet, despite some breathtaking scenery, dazzling new worlds and alien beings, and ‘ahhh, so that’s where it’s heading’ plot twists, “the Clones” is a near miss (or is it near hit?). There’s a lack of the fun and frivolity that made the original releases such a wild ride for casual viewers and “Star Wars” fanatics alike. Gone are the days of fluffy Ewoks (which I liked, go ahead - scream at me, I can take it), Princess Leia and Han Solo’s cleverly written repartee, and the unforgettable mass of hair we affectionately knew as Chewie.

(more…)

After being trapped in a jungle board game for 26 years, a Man-Child wins his release from the game. But, no sooner has he arrived that he is forced to play again, and this time sets the creatures of the jungle loose on the city. Now it is up to him to stop them. Written by Joshua Davis {xtnb64a@prodigy.com}

(more…)

Turkish and his close friend/accomplice Tommy get pulled into the world of match fixing by the notorious Brick Top. Things get complicated when the boxer they had lined up gets the shit kicked out of him by Pitt, a ‘pikey’ ( slang for an Irish Gypsy)- who comes into the equation after Turkish, an unlicensed boxing promoter wants to buy a caravan off the Irish Gypsies. They then try to convince Pitt not only to fight for them, but to lose for them too. Whilst all this is going on, a huge diamond heist takes place, and a fistful of motley characters enter the story, including ‘Cousin Avi’, ‘Boris The Blade‘, ‘Franky Four Fingers’ and ‘Bullet Tooth Tony’. Things go from bad to worse as it all becomes about the money, the guns, and the damned dog! Written by Filmtwob {webmaster@filmfreak.co.za}

(more…)

Strangers from all different walks of life: a limo driver escorting a movie star, parents with a young son, a cop transporting a convict, a prostitute, a young couple, and a motel manager are caught up in a nasty rainstorm, stuck at a motel in desolate Nevada. Soon they realize they may be at the motel for another reason when one by one, people start getting killed off. As tensions flare and fingers are pointed, they have to get to the bottom of why they’re there. Meanwhile in an undisclosed location, a psychiatrist is trying to prove the innocence of a man accused of murder in an eleventh hour trial. How these two through-lines are related can only be found in Identity. Written by mystic80

The animated story of Bambi, a young deer hailed as the ‘Prince of the Forest’ at his birth. As Bambi grows, he makes friends with the other animals of the forest, learns the skills needed to survive, and even finds love. One day, however, the hunters come, and Bambi must learn to be as brave as his father if he is to lead the other deer to safety. Written by Jean-Marc Rocher {rocher@fiberbit.net}