In this sequel to the Evil Dead films, a discount-store employee (”Name’s Ash. Housewares.”) is time-warped to a medieval castle beset by monstrous forces. Initially mistaken for an enemy, he is soon revealed as the prophecised savior who can quest for the Necronomicon, a book which can dispel the evil. Unfortunately, he screws up the magic words while collecting the tome, and releases an army of skeletons, led by his own Deadite counterpart. What follows is a thrilling, yet tongue-in-cheek battle between Ash’s 20th Century tactics and the minions of darkness. Written by David Thiel {d-thiel@uiuc.edu}

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Andrew Largeman is a semi-successful television actor who plays a retarded quarterback. His somewhat controlling and psychiatrist father has led Andrew (”Large”) to believe that his mother’s wheelchair bound life was his fault. Andrew decides to lay off the drugs that his father and his doctor made him believe that he needed, and began to see life for what it is. He began to feel the pain he had longed for, and began to have a genuine relationship with a girl who had some problems of her own. Written by MichaelAGodfrey@aol.com

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Royce and Dexter are two slackers who live in the strange little town of Weedsville. When Royce’s girlfriend Matilda overdose’s on their stash and dies, they decide to bury her in an abandoned Drive-In theater. Things get out of control when they discover Satanists performing a ritual sacrifice right where they were going to bury the body… Written by CaptainStigmata

Van Damme plays Rudy whose father, Oscar is an archaeologist. His father goes to Israel. When his father disappears, he goes to Israel to find him. The chief of police claims that his father never entered the country, but an old friend of his father’s was expecting him and before he could tell him more, some people start shooting at them. He manages to get away, and when he goes back to the police chief, he still refuses to believe that a crime has been committed. He then has Rudy deported, but Rudy convinces the police woman assigned to bring him to the airport not to and help him find his father. Written by {rcs0411@yahoo.com}

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The first crusade to free the Holy Land has ended. A mass of weary knights, squires, soldiers of fortune and priests are making their way home across a Europe that has changed forever. George, a handsome English knight, unsettled by the horrendous bloodletting he witnessed in Palestine, desires to hang up his sword and settle down to a quiet, peaceful life. On returning to England, George heads north where he’s heard the land is good and the population sparse and of a kindly King named Edgaar. He finds King Edgaar in a terrible state. His beautiful daughter, Lunna has recently disappeared. In return for a small plot of land, George agrees to search for Princess Lunna. With Edgaar’s faithful servant, Elmendorf, George sets out. George discovers both the princess and the truth behind her strange disappearance. The quest now set before them ends in a love, a lie and a legend that has lasted a thousand years. Written by Schleppy

He’s found his mojo, baby, and now Austin Powers is back again in this shagadelic comedy-adventure! The “sshhh!” hits the fan when Dr. Evil and Mini-Me escape from prison. Joining forces with the superfreaky Goldmember, they kidnap Austin’s father, master spy Nigel Powers, in a dastardly time-travel scheme to take over the world. Before you can say “Shake Your Booty,” Austin cruises to 1975 and teams up with sexy Foxxy Cleopatra to stop Dr. Evil and Goldmember from their mischievous mayhem. Written by Robert Lynch {docrlynch@yahoo.com}

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Set in the 10th Century, a man (Bowen) teams up with the last dragon to remind the people of a long lost code of honor, and inspire them to fight for their freedom from a tyrannical king. Written by Rob Meyer {rob.meyer@csus.edu}

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The best thing I can say about “Timeline” is that it’s filled with some of the finest male eye candy on screen (only adding Colin Farrell or Ewan McGregor would have topped the team of Gerard Butler and Paul Walker). Now that’s not to put down the acting ability of Butler or even Walker, it just speaks to the truth of the matter: without something pleasant to look at, I would have lost interest in “Timeline” before the end of the first hour. As it was, Butler and Walker provided enough testosterone to at least keep me from completely tuning out of this sadly unfulfilling screen adaptation of Michael Crichton’s bestseller.

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Just hearing the word ‘sequel’ makes me cringe. Too many times the fond memories of a good movie have been ruined by a lame, cash-in-while-the-getting-is-good sequel. The bad sequel list goes on ad nauseam, populated with misguided, unnecessary and annoying attempts to recapture the spirit – and the box office dollars – of a successful movie. And no matter how you try to forget them, bad sequels leave a rotten taste in your mouth that taints the enjoyment of the original film. But the powers behind “Shrek” got it right. They pulled off the near impossible and created a sequel that’s better than the original. Even the computer generated animation, which was pretty darn good in the first film, has been vastly improved. This “Shrek” looks gorgeous, feels fresh, and touches your heart on a grander scale than the first movie.

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Ridley, Ridley, Ridley. I enjoyed your “Gladiator” and marveled at your ability to make the past come alive, so it pains me to say “Kingdom of Heaven” is no “Gladiator.” It’s not even a “Troy.” It’s better than Oliver Stone’s “Alexander,” but that’s not saying much.

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