When an accident obliterates the British royal family and most of its branches, a desperate geneological search discovers the next king: Ralph, a sleazy American lounge singer. Can Ralph measure up to the job, even with the help of loyal aristocrat Willingham? Written by Reid Gagle

Just hearing the word ‘sequel’ makes me cringe. Too many times the fond memories of a good movie have been ruined by a lame, cash-in-while-the-getting-is-good sequel. The bad sequel list goes on ad nauseam, populated with misguided, unnecessary and annoying attempts to recapture the spirit – and the box office dollars – of a successful movie. And no matter how you try to forget them, bad sequels leave a rotten taste in your mouth that taints the enjoyment of the original film. But the powers behind “Shrek” got it right. They pulled off the near impossible and created a sequel that’s better than the original. Even the computer generated animation, which was pretty darn good in the first film, has been vastly improved. This “Shrek” looks gorgeous, feels fresh, and touches your heart on a grander scale than the first movie.

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Ridley, Ridley, Ridley. I enjoyed your “Gladiator” and marveled at your ability to make the past come alive, so it pains me to say “Kingdom of Heaven” is no “Gladiator.” It’s not even a “Troy.” It’s better than Oliver Stone’s “Alexander,” but that’s not saying much.

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King Roland of the planet Druidia is trying to marry his daughter Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) to Prince Valium, but Vespa is kidnapped by the evil race of the Spaceballs. The Spaceballs ask Roland a tremendous ransom: all the air of Druidia (you see, the air of Spaceball had serious pollution problems…). The King decides to offer a generous amount of money to a space rogue, Lone Starr, to persuade him to save Vespa. What follows is the parody of a _LOT_ of famous SF movies. Written by Flavio Rizzardi {spillo@maya.dei.unpid.it}

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Whatever you’re expecting from “Alexander,” the odds are high you’ll be in for a huge surprise. Oliver Stone’s Alexander the Great story is more about the man himself and his relationships with the men in his life, than it is about Alexander’s conquests and life as a ruler.

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Loosely based upon the story by Hans Christian Andersen. Ariel, youngest daughter of King Triton, is dissatisfied with life in the sea. She longs to be with the humans above the surface, and is often caught in arguments with her father over those “barbaric fish-eaters”. She goes to meet Ursula, the Sea Witch, to strike a deal, but Ursula has bigger plans for this mermaid and her father. Written by Tim Pickett {quetzal@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au}

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An affair between the second in line to Britain’s throne (Franco) and the princess of the feuding Irish (Myles) spells doom for the young lovers. Written by Brian@filmschoolrejects.com

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In an ancient time, predating the pyramids, the evil king Memnon is using the psychic powers of his sorceress Cassandra to fortell his great victories. In a last ditch effort to stop Memnon from taking over the world, the leaders of the remaining free tribes hire the assassin Mathayus to kill the sorceress. But Mathayus ends up getting much more than he bargained for. Now with the help of the trickster Arpid, tribal leader Balthazar and an unexpected ally, it’s up to Mathayus to fufill his destiny and become the great Scorpion King. Written by Anonymous

Can I just start this out by declaring upfront Peter Jackson is a genius? There, I’ve said it and I stand behind my opinion. He’s a genius for having the guts to film the entire trilogy at the same time, for choosing the perfect mix of new, rising, and established actors, and for creating a fantasy world so breathtakingly entrancing fans of Tolkien’s work were left with very little to gripe about. Jackson’s also one smart cookie for his use of the Internet and fan sites to spread the news (and hype) surrounding “The Lord of the Rings.” Instead of keeping fans at a distance, Jackson did a fantastic job of embracing the people who would ultimately buy tickets, buy the DVDs, and support “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy.

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Sauron’s forces increase. His allies grow. The Ringwraiths return in an even more frightening form. Saruman’s army of Uruk Hai is ready to launch an assault against Aragorn and the people of Rohan. Yet, the Fellowship is broken and Boromir is dead. For the little hope that is left, Frodo and Sam march on into Mordor, unprotected. A number of new allies join with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Pippin and Merry. And they must defend Rohan and attack Isengard. Yet, while all this is going on, Sauron’s troops mass toward the City of Gondor, for the War of the Ring is about to begin. Written by Yuandi Li

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