What the hell was Ben Affleck thinking? Seriously. What was he thinking? J-Lo I can understand. But Affleck? It’s sad, so sad – oh and it’s bad, so very, very bad.

At least I can keep this review rather short. “Gigli” had no recognizable plot. There’s something about two hit men (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez – yeah, right) kidnapping a mentally challenged teenager (Justin Bartha) who is the younger brother of the Federal Prosecutor in charge of bringing Larry Gigli’s (Affleck) boss’ boss to trial. Got that? Don’t worry, you won’t be quizzed later. You can forget the plot, it means absolutely nothing to the film.

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Character actors Stephen Dorff and Bob Hoskins star in the crime thriller DEN OF LIONS. Hoskins plays Darius Paskevic, leader of an arm of the ruthless Russian mob in Budapest. Mike Varga (Dorff) ingratiates himself into Darius’s inner circle, eventually becoming the gangster’s favorite prodigy and lover to his beautiful daughter Katya. But what Darius doesn’t suspect, and what puts Mike in grave danger, is that his new golden boy is in fact an undercover government agent. DEN OF LIONS is like an international version of DONNIE BRASCO.

Written and directed by Eric Forsberg, this unabashedly low-budget sci-fi flick has a young woman being abducted by aliens on a camping trip—and then going through an even harder ordeal when she wakes up in a brutal military hospital for the rehabilitation of abductees.

An out-of-control speed freak (Schwartzman) is introduced his drug of choice’s creator (Rourke) by his dealer (Leguizamo). A massive three-day adventure ensues (with Fugit, Murphy, and Suvari in tow).

Go see this movie. Don’t even bother to finish reading this review. I won’t be insulted. Turn off your computer, pack up the family, and fork over the money to see this extravaganza now. Don’t wait for it on DVD. It won’t be the same, no matter the size of your TV or the power of your surround sound system. “King Kong” needs to be seen on the big screen where you can immerse yourself in Peter Jackson’s brilliance.

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Young FBI agent Clarice Starling is assigned to help find a missing woman to save her from a psychopathic serial killer who skins his victims. Clarice attempts to gain a better insight into the twisted mind of the killer by talking to another psychopath Hannibal Lecter, who used to be a respected psychiatrist. FBI agent Jack Crawford believes that Lecter who is also a very powerful and clever mind manipulator have the answers to their questions to help locate the killer. Clarice must first try and gain Lecter’s confidence before he is to give away any information. Written by Sami Al-Taher {staher2000@yahoo.com}

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In the year 1971, San Francisco faces the terror of a maniac known as Scorpio- who snipes at innocent victims and demands ransom through notes left at the scene of the crime. Inspector Harry Callahan (known as Dirty Harry by his peers through his reputation handling of homicidal cases) is assigned to the case along with his newest partner Inspector Chico Gonzalez to track down Scorpio and stop him. Using humiliation and cat and mouse type of games against Callahan, Scorpio is put to the test with the cop with a dirty attitude. Written by commanderblue

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An Australian couple take a sailing trip in the Pacific to forget about a terrible accident. While on the open sea, in dead calm, they come across a ship with one survivor who is not at all what he seems. Written by Loring Holden {loring@healthchex.com}

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In a galaxy far, far away, “Star Wars: Episode II - The Attack of the Clones” may be the franchise’s savior. Alas, here on this planet, despite some breathtaking scenery, dazzling new worlds and alien beings, and ‘ahhh, so that’s where it’s heading’ plot twists, “the Clones” is a near miss (or is it near hit?). There’s a lack of the fun and frivolity that made the original releases such a wild ride for casual viewers and “Star Wars” fanatics alike. Gone are the days of fluffy Ewoks (which I liked, go ahead - scream at me, I can take it), Princess Leia and Han Solo’s cleverly written repartee, and the unforgettable mass of hair we affectionately knew as Chewie.

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Rich bitch Joanna hires country carpenter Dean to build a closet on her yacht. When the two don’t see eye-to-eye, Dean is left unpaid while Joanna sets sail. The following day, Joanna is fished out of the sea, after falling overboard, suffering from amnesia. Dean sees a neat way to regain the money she owes him… he tells her she’s his wife; that way Dean gets a free housekeeper and mother for his four kids. Written by Rob Hartill

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