After being trapped in a jungle board game for 26 years, a Man-Child wins his release from the game. But, no sooner has he arrived that he is forced to play again, and this time sets the creatures of the jungle loose on the city. Now it is up to him to stop them. Written by Joshua Davis {xtnb64a@prodigy.com}

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Professional daredevil and white-suited hero, The Great Leslie, convinces turn-of-the-century auto makers that a race from New York to Paris (westward across America, the Bering Straight and Russia) will help to promote automobile sales. Leslie’s arch-rival, the mustached and black-attired Professor Fate vows to beat Leslie to the finish line in a car of Fate’s own invention. The Blake Edwards style of slapstick and song originated with this movie. A dedication to Laurel and Hardy appears at the beginning of the film. Edwards’ tribute to Stan and Ollie can be seen most clearly in the interaction between Professor Fate and his cohort Max, as well as in the operatic Pottsdorf pie fight. Written by Jeanne Baker {jbaker@erim.org}

Lemony Snicket narra las peripecias de los pequeños Baudelaire, que recien han quedado huerfanos tras ser quemada su elegante mansion, herederos de una gran fortuna, de pronto sus vidas se ven envueltas en grave peligro debido a la codicia del Conde Olaf, quien intenta por todos los medios, quedarse con la jugosa herencia. Asi los niños pasan a caer bajo la custodia de excentricos parientes que van siendo eliminados por el malvado Conde Olaf, que termina siendo desenmascarado tras el fallido intento de casarse con la pequeña Violet. (Lemony Snicket narrates the incidents of small children Baudelaire that newly have been orphan after being burnt its elegant mansion, heirs of a great fortune, suddenly its lives are wrapped in serious danger due to the Count’s greed who attempts by all possible means, to keep the great inheritance. The children pass this way to fall under the custody of kindred eccentrics relatives who are being eliminated by the evil Count Olaf that finishes being exposed after the bankrupt intent of marrying small Violet.) Written by ruvarjoel

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Robert dean is a mild-mannered lawyer who works in Washington D.C. He is on the trail of a kingpin named Pintero. Meanwhile, a politician named Thomas Reynolds is negotiating with Congressman Phillip Hammerson about a new surveillance system with satellites. But, Hammerson declines, that is when Reynolds had Hammerson killed, but this murder was caught on tape, and this person was being chased by Reynolds’ team of NSA agents, the guy must ditch the tape, so he plants it on Dean (unbeknownst to Dean). Then, the NSA decides to get into Dean’s life. That is when Dean’s life began to fall apart all around him, with his wife and job both gone. Dean wants to find out what is going on. Then, he meets a man named “Brill” who tells him that Dean has something that the government wants. Thta is when Dean and Brill formulate a plan to get Dean’s life back and turn the Tables on Reynolds. Written by John Wiggins

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When a meteorite falls to Earth two college professors, Dr. Ira Kane and Prof. Harry Phineas Block, are assigned the job of checking the site out. At the site, they discover organisms not of this planet. Soon the site is taken over by the government, forcing Ira and Harry to the side. As the new life-forms begin to evolve and start to get more and more dangerous, it’s up to the two professors to save the planet. Written by FilmFanUK

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On a scale of “Country Bears” to “Pirates of the Caribbean,” “The Haunted Mansion” looks as fabulous as “Pirates” but falls closer to “Country Bears” in overall effort. The production design looks great but there’s not much to the plot or even to the acting for that matter. Suffice it to say, when the three hitchhiking ghosts appear, you’ll be more than ready to join them in getting the heck out of Dodge.

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Aladdin is a street-urchin who lives in a large and busy town long ago with his faithful monkey friend Abu. When Princess Jasmine gets tired of being forced to remain in the palace that overlooks the city, she sneaks out to the marketplace, where she accidentally meets Aladdin. Under the orders of the evil Jafar (the sultan’s advisor), Aladdin is thrown in jail and becomes caught up in Jafar’s plot to rule the land with the aid of a mysterious lamp. Legend has it that only a person who is a “diamond in the rough” can retrieve the lamp from the Cave of Wonders. Aladdin might fight that description, but that’s not enough to marry the princess, who must (by law) marry a prince. Written by Murray Chapman {muzzle@cs.uq.oz.au}

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Special agent Harry Tasker gets out of the water outside a heavily guarded mansion, takes off his wetsuit, and there is a dinner jacket underneath. Harry strolls into a swanky party. Harry meets with Juno Skinner, steals some computer files, and escapes in a blaze of gunfire. He’s picked up by his partner, Albert “Gib” Gibson, and they return to the United States. Harry goes home to his wife Helen. Helen doesn’t know what Harry does because he pretends to be a computer salesman. Their 14-year-old daughter Dana is a sullen teenager, and Helen is so bored by the routine of her life that she’s on the verge of having an affair with used-car salesman Simon, who claims to be a spy. Harry is hot on the trail of a group of terrorists led by Salim Abu Aziz. Aziz and his men are smuggling nuclear weapons into the USA in pieces of Persian art, and Aziz plans to hold the country hostage in the name of the Crimson Jihad. Harry’s also out to save his marriage when he discovers Helen with Simon, who still claims to be a spy. Harry uses the Agency’s resources to give Helen a taste of the real thing. Harry blackmails Helen into seducing an enemy agent — Harry himself — in a hotel room, but their tryst is interrupted by Aziz’s men, who kidnap them and take them to one of the Florida Keys, where they’re preparing to detonate their nuclear bomb. Harry escapes and rescues Helen, and then they discover that Aziz has gone to Miami and kidnapped Dana. Harry uses a harrier jet to get to Miami, where he sets out to rescue Dana. Written by Todd Baldridge

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John McClane is now almost a full-blown alcoholic and is suspended from the NYPD. But when a bomb goes off in the Bonwit Teller Department Store the police go insane trying to figure out what’s going on. Soon, a man named Simon calls and asks for McClane. Simon tells Inspector Walter Cobb that McClane is going to play a game called “Simon Says“. He says that McClane is going to do the tasks he assigns him. If not, he’ll blow off another bomb. With the help of a Harlem electrician, John McClane must race all over New York trying to figure out the frustrating puzzles that the crafty terrorist gives him. But when a bomb goes off in a subway station right by the Federal Reserve (the biggest gold storage in the world) things start to get heated up. Written by SARSman1793

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It is just another day at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), a few astronauts were repairing a satellite until, out of nowhere, a series of asteroids came crashing into the shuttle, destroying it. These asteroids also decimated New York soon thereafter. Then, NASA discovered that there is an asteroid roughly the size of Texas heading towards the Earth, and when it does hit the Earth, the planet itself and all of its inhabitants will be obliterated, worse, the asteroid will hit the Earth in 18 days. Unfortunately, NASA’s plans to destroy the asteroid are irrelevant. That is when the U.S. military decides to use a nuclear warhead to blow the asteroid to pieces. Then, scientists decide to blow the asteroid with the warhead inside the asteroid itself. The only man to do it, is an oil driller named Harry Stamper and his group of misfit drillers and geologists. As he and his drill team prepare for space excavation, the asteroid is still heading towards the Earth. When the crew are launched into outer space, they are determined to destroy this asteroid. Written by John Wiggins

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