The workaholic head of the compliance section of a New York bank flies to Monaco to investigate unusual deposits from an offshore bank and meets a down-on-his-luck international film star who has become embroiled in criminal activities. Written by Anonymous

Do you ever feel like everyone but you is in on the joke? I didn’t feel that way with Wes Anderson’s other films – “Bottle Rocket,” “Rushmore,” or the amazing “Royal Tenenbaums.” Those films were clever but never condescending. Those I understood and basically stood in awe of. But from the title to the bizarre action sequences, “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” left me feeling like an outsider looking in.

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Melvin Smiley, a successful young hitman, is living a normal all-day life for his jewish fiancé Pam, but kills for money in Paris’ organization. In addition, he has a relationship with a beauty from the neighbourhood and gets bothered by a pimply video store guy, because he did not return “King Kong Lives” for two weeks. He and his three teammates Cisco, Crunch and Vince one day decide to kidnap the daughter of super-rich businessman Jiro Nishi - off the record. What they do not know, is that Jiro just went completely bankrupt due to a successless movie production, and, even worse, that his daughter Keiko is the god-daughter of Paris, the boss of the kidnappers. He and his men are now searching for the kidnappers in order to grind them up properly. Meanwhile, handcuffed Keiko falls in love with killer Melvin while both preparing a kosher meal in order to satisfy Pam’s visiting parents, who are out of the house with Pam - with a body in the trunk. Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

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After being imprisoned for six years on a grand theft auto charge, Rudy Duncan (Ben Affleck) and his cellmate Nick (James Frain) are finally going to be paroled. After hearing endless stories during his incarceration of Nick’s romantic correspondence to a woman named Ashley he has never met (Charlize Theron), Rudy is looking forward to returning to his family and having a fresh cup of hot chocolate. When Nick is killed during a prison riot, Rudy decides to assume Nick’s identity upon release from prison and meet up with the unknown woman. Burdened with a base knowledge of Nick’s Indian casino employment past, Rudy finds himself in too deep with Ashley’s brother Gabriel (Gary Sinise) and is violently forced to cooperate with a casino robbery that Gabriel and his gang have been planning with Nick in mind. Written by Brian Orndorf

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“Bandits” teams two vastly different, though almost equally popular, male stars in a surprisingly hilarious mix of comedy, action, romance, bank robberies, and bad wigs. Macho man Bruce Willis and the talented chameleon Billy Bob Thornton masterfully create two pseudo “bad guys” who capture the hearts of their victims, the general public, and ultimately, the heart of the same woman.

Billy Bob Thornton describes their characters as screwballs of the “Martin and Lewis” variety. That’s a fitting description of the harmlessly endearing fugitives who can’t seem to catch a break, or leave the life of crime behind. Willis is the “Martin” of the group - the brains and the brawn of the operation - with Thornton playing the sidekick role to the hilt, taking it to an all new level with bizarre phobias and a constant string of questions.

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During the 1972 Olympic Games in Munich, eleven Israeli athletes are taken hostage and murdered by a Palestinian terrorist group known as Black September. In retaliation, the Israeli government recruits a group of Mossad agents to track down and execute those responsible for the attack. Written by Anonymous

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It’s not often that Hollywood has the opportunity (opportunity = financial backing) to team two superstars in a major release. Salaries for marquee names have reached limits rivaled only by professional athletes. Even when studios are able to get the backing needed, they aren’t guaranteed the film will be a hit, or that the stars will have on-screen chemistry. Notable superstar teamings that produced less-than-stellar results include Julia with Mel, DeNiro with Pacino, and, of course, the extremely forgettable “Ishtar” with Hoffman and Beatty.

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Undercover Agent Malcolm Turner is back and this time he’s out to expose the suspected designer of a deadly computer “worm” that would allow outside forces access to sophistical and critical government intelligence files. But unfortunately, the only way the crafty agent can get next to the worm’s creator, Tom Fuller, is to access the programmer’s Orange County home as the new “nanny” to Fuller and his wife Leah’s children: toddler Andrew and his two older sisters, Carrie and Molly. This means that Malcolm must once again rely on his sure-fire alter ego, the take-no-prisoners Hattie Mae Pierce, a.k.a. “Big Momma,” to bring down the bad guys and prove that a woman’s work is never done! But once undercover, the job proves another tough juggling act for Big Momma as “she” must manage the hectic lives of the three Fuller kids, keep up with their myriad of daily activities, and handle the many household chores, all while secretly trying to dig up information on Tom’s computer virus. Of course, Malcolm’s hardest and most comical task is staying in Big Momma character throughout, which requires the trickiest of physical and vocal transformations, not to mention the ability to think really fast on his pumps. Hilarious situations ensue for “Big Momma” while trying to trap her prey, including, infiltrating a ritzy women’s day spa, leading a bawdy teen cheerleading competition, and surviving a crazy jet ski chase, all while trying to keep “her” wig straight and skirts smooth. Along the way, “Big Momma” also helps bring the fractured Fuller clan back together and, in turn, Malcolm develops a newfound appreciation for his own family, which includes stepson Trent and expectant pregnant wife Sherrie. Malcolm also learns he can strike a successful balance between his work and home responsibilities, without shortchanging either side in the process. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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This suspense thriller unfolds as the audience is introduced to David Dunn, played by Willis. Not only is he the sole survivor of a horrific train-crash that killed 131 people he doesn’t have a scratch on him. Samuel L Jackson plays an obscure character who approaches Dunn with a seemingly far fetched theory behind it all rocketing off an enticing thriller with a sci fi twist Written by Filmtwob {webmaster@filmfreak.co.za}

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This movie is talking about Tom Cruise, the most exciting and successful star in the world, returns to one of his signature roles, Secret Agent Ethan Hunt, in “Mission: Impossible III.” In this pulse-racing, mind-bending action thriller, Hunt confronts the toughest villain he’s ever faced - Owen Davian (Academy Award® winner Philip Seymour Hoffman), an international weapons and information provider with no remorse and no conscience. The film is co-written and directed by J.J. Abrams, who brings his unique blend of action, character, comedy, and drama to the franchise. The millions of loyal viewers of Abrams’s landmark creations, the television series “Lost” and “Alias,” know what to expect: an enthralling, intricate story with an unexpected and arresting payoff that satisfies on every level. With “M:i:III,” Abrams and Cruise turn the spy thriller on its ear as they hark back to the best aspects of the original TV series that inspired the films - a well-connected team of agents centered around a bold and heroic leader, the most exciting action stunts imaginable, and elaborate twists and turns that keep you on the edge of your seat. Written by Bill

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