An affair between the second in line to Britain’s throne (Franco) and the princess of the feuding Irish (Myles) spells doom for the young lovers. Written by Brian@filmschoolrejects.com

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In a galaxy far, far away, “Star Wars: Episode II - The Attack of the Clones” may be the franchise’s savior. Alas, here on this planet, despite some breathtaking scenery, dazzling new worlds and alien beings, and ‘ahhh, so that’s where it’s heading’ plot twists, “the Clones” is a near miss (or is it near hit?). There’s a lack of the fun and frivolity that made the original releases such a wild ride for casual viewers and “Star Wars” fanatics alike. Gone are the days of fluffy Ewoks (which I liked, go ahead - scream at me, I can take it), Princess Leia and Han Solo’s cleverly written repartee, and the unforgettable mass of hair we affectionately knew as Chewie.

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“Underworld” starts off slow, speeds up when the action sequences kick in, then it gets itself totally mired down in the La Brea Tar Pit of Incomprehensible Plotlines. Unfortunately even the most spectacular looking and beautifully choreographed fight sequences cannot overcome the convoluted story.

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Bill Dancer and his young companion Curly Sue are the classic homeless folks with hearts of gold. Their scams are aimed not at turning a profit, but at getting enough to eat. When they scam the rich and beautiful Grey Ellison into believing she backed her Mercedes into Bill, they’re only hoping for a free meal. But Grey is touched, and over the objections of her snotty fiance, insist on putting the two up for the night. As they get to know each other, Bill becomes convinced that this is where Curly Sue belongs - in a home, cared for by someone that can give her the advantages that his homeless, nomadic existence lacks. He plans to leave the young girl in the care of Grey and take off…. but Curly Sue has other ideas! Written by Rick Munoz {rick.munoz@his.com}

It is just another day at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), a few astronauts were repairing a satellite until, out of nowhere, a series of asteroids came crashing into the shuttle, destroying it. These asteroids also decimated New York soon thereafter. Then, NASA discovered that there is an asteroid roughly the size of Texas heading towards the Earth, and when it does hit the Earth, the planet itself and all of its inhabitants will be obliterated, worse, the asteroid will hit the Earth in 18 days. Unfortunately, NASA’s plans to destroy the asteroid are irrelevant. That is when the U.S. military decides to use a nuclear warhead to blow the asteroid to pieces. Then, scientists decide to blow the asteroid with the warhead inside the asteroid itself. The only man to do it, is an oil driller named Harry Stamper and his group of misfit drillers and geologists. As he and his drill team prepare for space excavation, the asteroid is still heading towards the Earth. When the crew are launched into outer space, they are determined to destroy this asteroid. Written by John Wiggins

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Kathryn makes a bet that her step-brother, Sebastian, won’t be able to bed Annette (a virgin, who wants to wait until marriage) before the start of the school year. If he loses, Kathryn gets his Roadster, if he wins, he gets Kathryn Written by Scott Stoecker {mrgastruck@yahoo.com}

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In this modern day Romeo and Juliet, kung fu action star Jet Li plays Romeo to hip-hop singer, Aaliyah Haughton’s Juliet. Li is an ex-cop investigating the murder of his brother, who had ties with the Chinese mafia in America. Aaliyah plays the daughter of the American mob boss. Neither side approves of their romance, so, obviously, kung fu action ensues, with a soundtrack by Aaliyah. Written by Pugnax the Great {pugnax@hotmail.com}

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In November 1958, the American teenager Katey Miller moves with her parents and her younger sister to Havana. Her father is an executive of Ford expatriated to Cuba, and Katey is an excellent high school senior student that misses her friends. The family is lodged in a fancy hotel, where Katey accidentally meets the local teenage waiter Javier Suarez. Later she sees Javier dancing in a public square and they become friends, but he is fired from the hotel because her acquaintances have seen them together. Katey invites Javier to participate of a Latin Ballroom Contest in the local Palace club to help him to raise some money, and she secretly meets him in the La Rosa Negra nightclub for rehearsals. Later they fall in love for each other in times of revolution. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

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A pop singer has been receiving threatening notes, and her manager hires a bodyguard known for his good work. The bodyguard ruffles the singer’s feathers and most of her entourage by tightening security more than they feel is necessary. The bodyguard is haunted by the fact that he was on Reagan’s secret service staff but wasn’t there to prevent the attack by Hinckley. Eventually the bodyguard and the singer start an affair, and she begins to believe his precautions are necessary when the stalker strikes close to home. Written by Ed Sutton {esutton@mindspring.com}

Lula’s psychopathic mother goes crazy at the thought of Lula being with Sailor, who just got free from jail. Ignoring Sailor’s probation, they set out for California. However their mother hires a killer to hunt down Sailor. Unaware of this, the two enjoy their journey and themselves being together… until they witness a young woman dying after a car accident - a bad omen. Written by Tom Zoerner {Tom.Zoerner@informatik.uni-erlangen.de}

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