“Elizabethtown” is a cute movie. Not cute as in fluffy kittens romping through flowers in the spring, but cute as in precious bordering on nauseatingly sweet. This Cameron Crowe relationship saga is bogged down in a mire of sugary sweetness that isn’t as much heartwarming as it is just plain tedious.

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Jackie Brown is the name of a flight attendant who gets caught smuggling her boss’ gun money on the airline she works for. Luckily for her, the Fed Ray Nicolet and the LA Cop Mark Dargus decide to team up in order to arrest the arms dealer she works for, whose name they don’t even know. Here’s when she has to choose one way: tell Nicolet and Dargus about Ordell Robbie (the arms dealer) and get her freedom -except that if Ordell suspects you’re talking about him, you’re dead- or keep her mouth shut and do some time. That’s when she meets Max Cherry -her bail bondsman-, a late fifties, recently separated, burnt-out man, who falls in love with her. Then Jackie comes up with a plan to play the Feds off against Ordell and the guys he works with -Louis Gara and Melanie Ralston, among others- and walk off with their money. But she needs Max’s help. No one is going to stand in the way of his million dollar payoff… Written by Héctor Barca {sandman@arrakis.es}

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After a terrible air disaster, survivor Max Klein emerges a changed person. Unable to connect to his former life or to wife Laura, he feels godlike and invulnerable. When psychologist Bill Perlman is unable to help Max, he has Max meet another survivor, Carla Rodrigo, who is racked with grief and guilt since her baby died in the crash which she and Max survived. Written by Reid Gagle

At John Hughes High School, the students are the same as just about every other teenager in a teen movie. The popular jock, Jake (Chris Evans), takes a bet from Austin, the cocky blonde guy (Eric Christian Olsen), that he can transform Janey, the pretty ugly girl (Chyler Leigh), into the prom queen before the prom. But two people are trying to stop Jake from succeeding: his evil sister, Catherine, the cruelest girl in school (Mia Kirshner), and Priscilla, the bitchy cheerleader (Jaime Pressly). And all of their friends are the same as any other teen movie: Areola, the naked foreign exchange student (Cerina Vincent), Les, the beautiful weirdo (Riley Smith), Malik, the token black guy (Deon Richmond), the desperate virgins (Cody McMains, Samm Levine, and Sam Huntington), Amanda Becker, the perfect girl (Lacey Chabert), Ricky, Janey’s obsessed best friend (Eric Jungmann), and Sadie, the VERY old undercover reporter (Beverly Polcyn). Written by Will

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The story follows a man with a murderous alter ego. Tracy Atwood is a tough detective whose devotion to her craft catches the attention and respect of the serial killer she is hunting, which leads to a symbiotic relationship. Written by anonymous

Slim, Otis, Frank and Alex (three boys and a girl) form a group of snowboard and skate young bank robbers. They are known as masters of the runaway art. Slim, the thinking head hatched a plan for their final retirement: five consecutive burglars, in five days, involving 20 million dollars. But this time, they’re gonna have to face both the police - and the mafia! Written by Anonymous

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While practicing motocross in Hawaii, Sean Jones witnesses the brutal murder of an important American prosecutor by the powerful mobster Eddie Kim. He is protected and persuaded by the FBI agent Neville Flynn to testify against Eddie in Los Angeles. They embark in the red-eye Flight 121 of Pacific Air, occupying the entire first-class. However, Eddie dispatches hundred of different species of snakes airborne with a time operated device in the luggage to release the snakes in the flight with the intent of crashing the plane. Neville and the passengers have to struggle with the snakes to survive. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

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Terrorists take over a 747 bound from Athens to Washington D.C., supposedly to effect the release of their leader. Intelligence expert David Grant suspects another reason and convinces the military that the ‘plane should not be allowed to enter U.S. airspace. An assault mission is devised, using a specially equipped ‘plane designed for mid-air crew transfers, and Grant finds himself aboard the 747 with a team of military anti-terrorists who have to defuse a bomb and overpower the terrorists. Written by Ron Kerrigan {mvg@whidbey.com}

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This is a spoof of the airport disaster movies. When the crew of an airplane are struck by some form of virus, the fate of the passengers depends on an ex-war pilot who is the only one able to land the plane safely! The passengers represent a selection of interesting wacky characters who seem to take every word for its literal meaning. Written by Sami Al-Taher {staher2000@yahoo.com}

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