Young Vincenzo Cortino, son of a Sicilian postman, delivers a package for his father and accidentally sees something he should not see. In a donkey’s, well, he is smuggled out of town, where he tries to reach a ship headed for America. There, Vincenzo works his way up to the top of the Mafia. One day, his youngest son makes a mistake and has to leave town. A little later, he ends up as a casino boss in Las Vegas. But the heads of the other families want old Don Cortino out of the way. So, they shoot him 47 times and send a *very* attractive woman to distract his son from his casino work. Will he fall for her or will he return to Diane, who, by the way, had run for President successfully in the meantime? Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

A government agent trains a typical teenager Cody Banks who loves to skateboard, hates math, and feels like a complete idiot around girls, in the ways of covert operations that require younger participants. But Cody’s got a secret–he’s actually part of a secret teen CIA program. Cody’s living every boy’s dream life–he can drive like a stunt man, has an incredible arsenal of cool gadgets, and his agency mentor, Ronica Miles, is totally hot. But Cody’s training is put to the test when he’s sent to pose as a prep school student and befriend fellow teen Natalie Connors in order to gain access to her father–a scientist unknowingly developing a fleet of deadly pair of twisted villains called the nanobots for the evil organization ERIS, which can destroy any carbon or silicon-based substance-to destroy the world’s defense systems so he can threaten anyone who opposes him. From runaway cars and high-speed snowboard chases to a spectacular final mountaintop showdown, Cody has to use everything he’s learned to prove himself as an agent and stop ERIS from completing their mission before their mission fails. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

(more…)

Cooper and Ed are brothers: Coop acts, in ads and soaps, spending his real energy chasing women for one-night stands. His younger brother Ed, an earnest young man, works in an ad agency. For the past year, since finding his girlfriend in bed with another man with a video camera running, Ed has been in a funk: he’s carried a torch, his social life has tanked, and his work has suffered. Ed will be fired on Monday unless he can save a major account. It’s his birthday weekend: he wants to work, but Cooper wants Ed to rediscover his sex life. Cooper works hard to help Ed score, but disaster piles on disaster. Can a decent guy save his job and get a life? Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

While Skrat the Saber Toothed Squirrel is still ineffectually trying to regain his precious acorn, the misfit trio of Manny the Mammoth, Sid the Sloth and Diego the Sabretooth Tiger have settled down in an isolated valley with numerous other animals. However, the trio discover that the ice wall surrounding the valley is barely holding back a massive body of water behind it and it’s melting state threatens to break and flood the valley. With their one chance of survival being a boat at the other end of the valley, the trio follow the desperate exodus there. Along the way, they meet Ellie, a female mammoth who is convinced she’s a opossum like her brothers. While the strange group continues the trek, they must learn to get along even as Manny struggles to find some connection to this strange female who may be the only other one of his kind. Written by Kenneth Chisholm (kchishol@rogers.com)

(more…)

Just hearing the word ‘sequel’ makes me cringe. Too many times the fond memories of a good movie have been ruined by a lame, cash-in-while-the-getting-is-good sequel. The bad sequel list goes on ad nauseam, populated with misguided, unnecessary and annoying attempts to recapture the spirit – and the box office dollars – of a successful movie. And no matter how you try to forget them, bad sequels leave a rotten taste in your mouth that taints the enjoyment of the original film. But the powers behind “Shrek” got it right. They pulled off the near impossible and created a sequel that’s better than the original. Even the computer generated animation, which was pretty darn good in the first film, has been vastly improved. This “Shrek” looks gorgeous, feels fresh, and touches your heart on a grander scale than the first movie.

(more…)

Frank Detomello is a slovenly zookeeper, and simple father to the only young and bright girl named Shane, who catches a cold right after when he swallowed a germ-ridden egg! The inside of his body is known as the “City of Frank”. An unlikely hero of a policeman white blood cell, by the name of Osmosis Jones works as a member of Immunity, for Frank’s immune system, as a white blood cell. But with that germ-ridden egg comes a mortal danger: Osmosis discovers Frank has really contracted a villainous and black-hearted deadly virus known as Thrax who arrives and plotting to ultimately overheat Frank’s body, killing him from the inside out! Thrax is motivated by trying to become the nastiest new virus, attempting to kill each new victim faster than the previous. His grandiose plan for Frank is death in 48 hours, breaking previous medical records! Meanwhile the pill that Frank took, Drix arrives in the body and covers Frank’s throat with ice to cover the irritation. Osmosis Jones becomes his newest partner. Now it’s all up to only Osmosis and Drix to put an end of Thrax’s plans before Frank gets sick forever and Shane will become an orphan! Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

(more…)

Conrad and Sally Walden (Spencer Breslin and Dakota Fanning) are home alone with their pet fish. It is raining outside, and there is nothing to do. Until The Cat in the Hat (’Mike Myers‘ ) walks in the front door. He introduces them to their imagination, and at first it’s all fun and games, until things get out of hand, and The Cat must go, go, go, before their parents get back. Written by Anonymous

“Bringing Down the House” telegraphs every joke before the actor hits the punchline but that’s the least of the movie’s problems. The film has some funny moments, but there are too many jokes that are just plain uncomfortable. Because every ethnic stereotype is used as a source of amusement, the scenes that are supposed to make you laugh are the scenes that actually make you cringe. It’s got cracks about Latinos only being allowed in a rich neighborhood if they have a leaf-blower in their hands, Steve Martin’s character for some strange reason has a pink maid outfit on hand that fits Queen Latifah (where did that come from?), and every person of color speaks slang and it’s up to a white guy to teach them how to speak proper English.

(more…)

“Two Knights…Two Horses…Two Pieces of Sharp Lumber…
But, Only One Chick…Do the Math”

Backed by the throbbing sound of Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” “A Knight’s Tale” opens by immediately letting you know, in no uncertain terms, that this is no ordinary tale of jousting and medieval times. Mixing classic rock with medieval stylings, “A Knight’s Tale” is a wild ride that never takes itself seriously. From the booming beat of “The Boys are Back in Town” to the mixture of modern-day and medieval dialogue, “A Knight’s Tale” is pure entertainment.

(more…)

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are up to their feuding ways again. Tired of playing second fiddle to Bugs, Daffy has decided to leave the Studio for good. He is aided by Warner Bros.’ humor impaired Vice President of Comedy, Kate Houghton, who releases him from his contract and instructs WB security guard/aspiring stunt man DJ Drake to capture and “escort” Daffy off the studio lot. Suddenly a sidekick without a hero, the duck decides to ally himself with DJ, whether he likes it or not. Consequently, Daffy is on the scene when DJ discovers that his famous movie star father was Damian Drake, known for playing suave international spies onscreen, is actually a suave international spy in real life–and has been kidnapped by the evil insane nerdy, prancing villain known as Mr. Chairman of the equally nefarious Acme Corporation. It seems that Damian knows the whereabouts of the mysterious magical and powerful Blue Monkey Diamond, and the Chairman will do anything to get his hands on it! With Daffy in tow, DJ hits the road in a desperate attempt to outrace the evil Acme stooges to the diamond and save the world from their evil clutches. Unbeknownst to the two neo-spies, they are also being followed by VP Kate and Bugs–the studio brass has decided that the rabbit needs a comic foil after all, and Kate’s job is on the line if she can’t get Daffy back to work ASAP. Written by Anthony Pereyra (hypersonic91yahoo.com)

(more…)