John Lee is the best hitman money can buy. But when John refuses to kill because of the seven year-old son of his target, John’s bosses send someone after John to kill him and then take his place in the ring of hitmen. John then teams up with Meg Coburn to help him escape these “Replacement Killers.” Written by Anonymous

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Melvin Smiley, a successful young hitman, is living a normal all-day life for his jewish fiancé Pam, but kills for money in Paris’ organization. In addition, he has a relationship with a beauty from the neighbourhood and gets bothered by a pimply video store guy, because he did not return “King Kong Lives” for two weeks. He and his three teammates Cisco, Crunch and Vince one day decide to kidnap the daughter of super-rich businessman Jiro Nishi - off the record. What they do not know, is that Jiro just went completely bankrupt due to a successless movie production, and, even worse, that his daughter Keiko is the god-daughter of Paris, the boss of the kidnappers. He and his men are now searching for the kidnappers in order to grind them up properly. Meanwhile, handcuffed Keiko falls in love with killer Melvin while both preparing a kosher meal in order to satisfy Pam’s visiting parents, who are out of the house with Pam - with a body in the trunk. Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

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Based on the book by the famous Dr. Seuss. Inside a snowflake exists the magical land of Whoville. In Whoville, live the Who’s, an almost mutated sort of munchkinlike people. All the Who’s love Christmas, yet just outside of their beloved Whoville lives the Grinch. The Grinch is a nasty creature that hates Christmas, and plots to steal it away from the Whos which he equally abhors. Yet a small child, Cindy Lou Who, decides to try befriend the Grinch. Written by Filmfreak {webmaster@filmfreak.co.za}

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College student Lewis decides to drive across the country to see Venna, a friend who doesn’t know that Lewis is interested in her romantically. Unfortunately for his plans, Lewis gets saddled with his raucous-spirited older brother, Fuller, whose on-the-road pranks get the brothers and Venna sucked into a nightmare when a psychotic truckdriver takes offense. Written by Jim Beaver {jumblejim@prodigy.net}

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Oz is a Montréal dentist, paying off debts so he can divorce his wife: the dislike is mutual. When she learns their new neighbor is hit man Jimmy the Tulip, with a price on his head, she sends Oz to Chicago to earn a finder’s fee telling Mob boss Yanni where to find Jimmy. To get his wife off his back, Oz goes, his assistant Jill urging him to get laid while there. One of Yanni’s men awaits Oz at the hotel; Oz’s now in too deep to avoid telling Yanni what he knows. Meanwhile, Oz’s wife rats on Oz to Jimmy, hoping Jimmy will kill Oz and she can cash in on life insurance. Oz meets Jimmy’s wife (Yanni’s captive), flips for her, and the double-crosses mount. Even Jill isn’t whom she seems. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

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Between “X2,” “Spider-Man 2,” and “Batman Begins” I was almost convinced that I’m a closet comic book movie fan. Then “Fantastic Four” came along and knocked some sense into me.

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Following a truck hijack in New York, five conmen are arrested and brought together for questioning. As none of them is guilty, they plan a revenge operation against the police. The operation goes well, but then the influence of a legendary mastermind criminal called Keyser Söze is felt. It becomes clear that each one of them has wronged Söze at some point and must pay back now. The payback job leaves 27 men dead in a boat explosion, but the real question arises now: Who actually is Keyser Söze? Written by Soumitra

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I find it really strange anyone would watch “The Punisher” and come out upset about the film’s violence. Come on. Did anyone seriously believe a movie called “The Punisher” would be about kitty cats and dandelions? Watch the trailer or pick up the comic book the movie’s based on and it’s readily apparent this isn’t your average ‘fun’ comic book subject. Speaking of comic books, it’s time to issue my disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada, I don’t know anything about comic books, yada, yada, yada, don’t expect this review to compare and contrast the source material to the movie, and so on. From what I gather from my limited research into the realm of comics, “The Punisher” in comic book form is a dark tale, as is the movie.

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This movie is talking about Tom Cruise, the most exciting and successful star in the world, returns to one of his signature roles, Secret Agent Ethan Hunt, in “Mission: Impossible III.” In this pulse-racing, mind-bending action thriller, Hunt confronts the toughest villain he’s ever faced - Owen Davian (Academy Award® winner Philip Seymour Hoffman), an international weapons and information provider with no remorse and no conscience. The film is co-written and directed by J.J. Abrams, who brings his unique blend of action, character, comedy, and drama to the franchise. The millions of loyal viewers of Abrams’s landmark creations, the television series “Lost” and “Alias,” know what to expect: an enthralling, intricate story with an unexpected and arresting payoff that satisfies on every level. With “M:i:III,” Abrams and Cruise turn the spy thriller on its ear as they hark back to the best aspects of the original TV series that inspired the films - a well-connected team of agents centered around a bold and heroic leader, the most exciting action stunts imaginable, and elaborate twists and turns that keep you on the edge of your seat. Written by Bill

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Ronin is the Japanese word used for Samurai without a master. In this case, the Ronin are outcast specialists of every kind, whose services are available to everyone - for money. Dierdre (undoubtedly from Ireland) hires several Ronin to form a team in order to retrieve an important suitcase from a man who is about to sell it to the Russians. After the mission has been completed successfully, the suitcase immediately gets switched by a member of the team who seems to work into his own pocket. The complex net of everyone tricking everyone begins to surface slowly, and deadly… Written by Julian Reischl {julianreischl@mac.com}

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