If “Lords of Dogtown,” the Hollywood movie not the documentary, truly represents what Jay Adams, Stacy Peralta, Tony Alva and the rest of Z-Boys experienced while turning the sport of skateboarding on its head, then it’s a wonder anyone ever wanted to pick up a board and follow their lead. “Lords of Dogtown” makes the sport seem about as much fun as having your toenails ripped off one by one.

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In `60s New Zealand, at the bottom of the world, Burt Munro takes a 1920 Indian motorcycle and, delightfully without resources other than his own obsession and a Kiwi #8 wire mentality, spends his retirement rebuilding the bike and following his dream to go to Speed Week at Salt Lake in Utah. Under funded, without the support of a team and against all the odds he not only makes it to Bonneville, he sets a world land spend record, not once, but again and again.

With an epic-sized budget and featuring some serious eye candy, “Troy” hits theaters with a lot of expectations to live up to, not the least of which is whether or not today’s audience will relate to the story. That issue - the relevance of Homer’s “The Iliad” in today’s world - is addressed pretty much immediately. Boiled down to its basics, “Troy” is a love story immersed in a world of burly men battling to restore their King’s wounded pride while capturing more land for their country to rule, set in a time when the world was run by men who worshiped mythic Gods such as Apollo and Zeus. That’s an easy enough story for contemporary moviegoers to get into. So fear not, if you can’t recall which Greek God is which, you won’t feel lost in the world of “Troy.”

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A story following Archer, a man tortured by his roots. With a strong survival instinct, he has made himself a key player in the business of conflict diamonds. Political unrest is rampant in Sierra Leone as people fight tooth for tooth. Upon meeting Solomon, and the beautiful Maddy, Archer’s life changes forever as he is given a chance to make peace with the war around him. Written by Miist

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Brandon Fraser is Adam Weber, the child of an eccentric inventor and his wife. Following a bomb scare in the 1960s that locked the Webers in their bomb shelter for 35 years, Adam Weber must venture out into Los Angeles and obtain food and supplies for his family, and a non-mutant wife for himself. He meets Eve (Alicia Silverstone), who reluctantly agrees to help him out. Written by Foggy

Two twelve year old girls are in love with a dilapidated beach club near their home. After a huge storm, they discover Aquamarine, a mermaid, in the pool of the club. Aquamarine then falls in love with the cute, young lifeguard who and begs the girls to help her set up a date with him. Written by Justin Tyler, int0xicat3xm3@aol.com

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Tony wants to be a hitman for the Mafia, but first he has to learn from a master. Enter Stevie California-cool, eats veggie burgers and quotes Neitzche. Tony may not agree with Stevie’s style, but he has to complete his training so he can go back and kill the Mafia’s accountant, who’s about to turn state’s evidence. His final test: kill whoever is randomly picked out of the yellow pages. His target: Angel Chaste. Angel works the graveyard shift at a mortuary. She thinks a doll is her baby. Her mother left when she was little. Basically, Angel has PROBLEMS. When Tony, Angel and Stevie collide, it will change all of their lives. Written by Mad Meg {mad_meg@hotmail.com}

L.A. in the early 1930’s: racism, poverty, and disease color the Bunker Hill neighborhood where Arturo Bandini, a lover of men and beasts alike, has arrived from Colorado to write the great Los Angeles novel. After six months and down to his last nickel, he orders a cup of coffee, served by Camilla Lopez, beautiful, self-possessed, and Mexican. Arturo gets advice, encouragement, and an occasional check from H.L. Mencken, so he keeps writing and he keeps seeing Camilla. But, he’s mean to her for no apparent reason, so the relationship sputters. A housekeeper from back East suggests a way out of his jealously and fears. “Camilla Bandini”: is it in the cards? Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

Gattaca Corp. is an aerospace firm in the future. During this time society analyzes your DNA and determines where you belong in life. Ethan Hawke’s character was born with a congenital heart condition which would cast him out of getting a chance to travel in space. So in turn he assumes the identity of an athlete who has genes that would allow him to achieve his dream of space travel. Written by {AVision200@aol.com}

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“This Summer It’s All About Sticking Together.”

Movie sequels are always a scary proposition. If the original was good enough to deserve a sequel, then the sequel will be fighting an uphill battle to be just as entertaining. Fans have high expectations - as they should - of films that continue where their favorites left off. Studios should feel a sense of obligation to not just cash in on the original’s success, but to place the best possible follow-up product on the market. Too many sequels skate by on the original’s merits, and never even attempt to come close to providing quality entertainment. That said - “American Pie 2” does come as close as possible to delivering the goods.

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