Our intrepid adolescent heroes wake up to find their beloved television stolen, and embark on an epic journey across America to recover it, and, who knows, maybe even score. On the way they encounter a murderous smuggler of a deadly virus and his treacherous wife, an FBI agent with a predilection for cavity searches, a couple of rather familiar looking ex-Motley Crue roadies, Mr. Van Dreesen singing “Lesbian Seagull”, a little old lady and of course Mr. Anderson and his trailer. Can the Great Cornholio save the day? Uh-huh. Huh-huh. Written by Martin H. Booda {booda@datasync.com}

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Wayne is back, this time trying to organize a rock festival with help from friend Garth and the spirit of Jim Morrison (Doors). Meanwhile, his girlfriend’s manager is busy trying to woo her away from Wayne and move her to LA. Life gets interesting when Wayne must rush from the concert to try and stop the wedding. Aerosmith are featured at the concert. Written by Tony Bridges {tbridges@spicer.com}

The archvillains of The United Underworld - The Catwoman, The Joker, The Riddler and The Penguin - combine forces to dispose of Batman and Robin as they launch their fantastic plot to control the entire world. From his submarine, Penguin and his cohorts hijack a yacht containing a superdehydrator, which can extract all moisture from humans and reduce them to particles of dust. The evildoers turn the 9 Security Council members in the United World Building into 9 vials of multicolored crystals! Batman and Robin track the villains in their Batboat and use Batcharge missles to force the sub to surface. Written by Aaron Handy III {ah07@gnofn.org}

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Wayne is still living at home. He has a world class collection of name tags from jobs he’s tried, but he does have his own public access TV show. A local station decides to hire him and his sidekick, Garth, to do their show professionally and Wayne & Garth find that it is no longer the same. Wayne falls for a bass guitarist and uses his and Garth’s Video contacts to help her career along, knowing that Ben Oliver, the sleazy advertising guy who is ruining their show will probably take her away from him if they fail. Written by John Vogel {jlvogel@comcast.net}

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Pat Riley, an obnoxious busybody of undeterminable sex, meets and falls in love with Chris, a sensitive, caring person also of undeterminable sex. Their relationship suffers because Pat’s a lout, and cannot decide on a direction for its life. Meanwhile, Pat’s neighbor Kyle falls further and further into obsession with Pat, fascinated by its indeterminate sexuality. Written by James Meek {james@oz.net}

The Welsh nutters, Dirty Sanchez are making a movie: The concept of the film is that the Devil has heard about the dare-devil nature of the Sanchez boys so he’s set them the ultimate challenge, to complete stunts based on the 7 Deadly Sins or be damned to the gutter forever. In order to regain their status as hard-asses and crawl out of the gutter - the 7 deadly sins they must complete in seven exotic locations are: Sloth - UK >> Anger - Moscow Russia >> Lust - Bangkok Thailand >> Envy - Ko Phi Phi Thailand >> Pride - Tokyo Japan >> Gluttony - Mexico >> Greed - Dominican Republic And most interesting of all the film-makers have secured Lemmy to play the Devil and do the music. Lemmy: “If they (Dirty Sanchez boys) think they’re tough… Wait till they meet me.” Written by johnzer2@hotmail.com

The film version of ‘”Till Death Do Us Part” (1965)’ . tells the story of Alf Garnett and his family living through the London Blitz.

Stan gets a little annoyed when his Mum and Sister keep buying expensive items on hire purchase, but the money he earns for overtime working as a bus driver means that he can afford it… just! His job is secure, as bus drivers are hard to come by, and his overtime prospects are good, until the bus company decide to revoke a long standing rule and employ women bus drivers. Aghast at the thought of no overtime and, therefore, less wages, he joins forces with his long time work colleague Jack to sabotage the new female employees. Written by Rhino {rhino@blueyonder.co.uk}

Roman slave Lurkio inadvertently becomes the possessor of a scroll naming the proposed assassins of the Emperor Nero. Administering to the participants of his master’s orgy guests seems small compared to the trouble the scroll brings - but all are in for a nasty shock when Mount Vesuvius decides to erupt. Written by Rhino {rhino@blueyonder.co.uk}

Albert Steptoe and his son Harold are junk dealers, complete with horse and cart to tour the neighbourhood. They also live amicably together at the junk yard. But Harold, who likes the bright lights in the West End of London, meets a stripper. Fine, but he marries her and takes her home Albert, of course, is furious and tries every trick he knows to drive the new bride from his household. Written by Derek Picken {dpicken@email.msn.com}