A troubled loner, Bob Maconel, imagines blowing up the tower in Los Angeles where he works. He takes a revolver to his office intent on killing colleagues, and then himself. At home, he holds conversations with his fish, who encourage him to do it. His supervisor picks on him. As he’s screwing his courage to the sticking place, he drops a bullet; while on the floor looking for it, another colleague does exactly what Bob has been planning. Bob emerges a hero and the one colleague he likes, a woman with a bright smile, is severely wounded. Can Bob help her through despair and find himself and joy in life? Or, as everyone says, is this impossible for a man like him? Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

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Mackenzie Carpenter, a gorgeous 17-year-old girl who would kick your ass for saying so, thinks her biggest problem is dying of boredom in the bucolic wasteland of Orange County…that is until her classmates start dying of massive blood loss and Horny The Clown begins madly stalking her with cryptic messages hidden in 70’s kitsch toys. It isn’t until Mac discovers her unbelievable connection to Horny and his victims that she realizes, if she’s gonna live to see 18, she must come face to face with the killer clown in the bloodiest week Blanca Carne, California has ever known. Written by Shane Kuhn and Brendan Cowles

Five tales of terror are presented in the gothic style of the old EC comics such as Tales From The Crypt and The Haunt of Fear. The first deals with a demented old man returning from the grave to get the Father’s Day cake his murdering daughter never gave him. The second is about a not-too-bright farmer discovering a meteor that turns everything into plant-life. The third is about a vengeful husband burying his wife and her lover up to their necks on the beach. The fourth is about a creature that resides in a crate under the steps of a college. The final story is about an ultra-rich businessman who gets his comeuppance from cockroaches. Written by Todd A. Bobenrieth {TAB146@PSUVM.EDU}

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Deuce Bigelow (Rob Schneider) goes to Amsterdam after a little accident including two irritating kids and a bunch of aggressive dolphins. There he meets up with his old friend TJ Hicks (Eddie Griffin). But a mysterious killer starts killing some of Amsterdams finest gigolos and TJ is mistaken for the extremely gay murderer. Deuce must enter the gigolo industry again to find the real murderer and clear TJs name. Written by Morty_man91

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Miles Massey, a prominent Los Angeles divorce attorney has everything–and in some cases, two of everything. Despite his impressive client list, a formidable win record, the respect of his peers and an ironclad contract (the Massey pre-nup) named after him, he’s reached a crossroads in his life. Sated on success, boredom has set in and he’s looking for new challenges. All that changes when Miles meets his match in the devastating Marylin Rexroth. Marylin is the soon-to-be ex-wife of his client Rex Rexroth, a wealthy real estate developer and habitual philanderer. With the help of hard charging private investigator Gus Petch, she has Rex nailed and is looking forward to the financial independence a successful divorce will bring. But thanks to Miles’ considerable skills, she ends up with nothing. Not to be outdone, Marylin schemes to get even and as part of her plan, quickly marries oil tycoon Howard Doyle. Miles and his unflappable associate, Wrigley, unwittingly dig themselves in deeper and deeper as they go head-to-head with Marylin. Underhanded tactics, deceptions and an undeniable attraction escalate as Marylin and Miles square off in this classic battle of the sexes. Written by Sujit R. Varma

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Three months into the year and finally a decent romantic comedy hits theaters. The rom-com with a message Failure to Launch is totally predictable yet undeniably charming. Matthew McConaughey pairs up with Sex and the City’s Sarah Jessica Parker for a clever take on the growing trend of young adults who find living at home is better than fleeing the nest.

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Shakespeare’s famous play is updated to the hip modern suburb of Verona still retaining its original dialogue. The gun-toting members of the families wage a vicious war on the streets as the star-crossed lovers, their tragic destiny. Written by Alexander Lum {aj_lum@postoffice.utas.edu.au}

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A bounty hunter is on the trail of a conman who skipped bail. The two wind up in a deserted warehouse where they witness a diamond scam in action, caught in the midst they put their differences aside to team up and detain the looters. Written by ze

It was with a great deal of trepidation that I found myself at a recent preview screening of “Finding Nemo.” First off, I don’t usually like ‘kids’ movies. Secondly, I’m not a big fan of animated films in general. “Finding Nemo” combines the two, making it the sort of film I dread seeing the most.

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Douglas Quaid is haunted by a recurring dream about a journey to Mars. He hopes to find out more about this dream and buys a holiday at Rekall Inc. where they sell implanted memories. But something goes wrong with the memory implantation and he remembers being a secret agent fighting against the evil Mars administrator Cohaagen. Now the story really begins and it’s a rollercoaster ride until the massive end of the movie. Written by Harald Mayr {marvin@bike.augusta.de}

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