In the middle of the night in EggTown, a mysterious figure sneaks into a bakery shop to steal some pastries. He is chased out, thanks in large part to the keen eye of Good Gracious Grasshopper, but not before his cloak is marked with some desert-like evidence. The thief is Terrible Timothy Take-It, and he scurries to his mother’s home. Timothy’s mother, Tiny Tessie, is asleep. He loves his mother and deep down yearns to be good, but circumstance has led Timothy down a slippery slope to mischief. He leaves the cloak behind, and the next day, wearing that same garment, Tessie wanders into the village to do her shopping. Seeing the evidence on Tessie’s cloak, the townsfolk believe she is the thief. Coming to her rescue is Horrible Harriet Hare, a smart, lonely and occasionally over-bearing, schoolteacher. She convinces the townsfolk that Tiny Tessie, a frail, old hen, could not have been responsible for the break-in. The incident is forgotten, and the town prepares for its biggest day of the year, Egg Day. Egg Day is the day every Easter egg in the world is manufactured. Horrible Harriet Hare also prepares for the big day: each year, on Egg Day, she has a picnic with the school’s headmaster, Big Boring Benedict Bunny. Benedict and Harriet love each other, but they can never find the courage to express their feelings to one another. They are embarrassed by their nicknames, meanwhile, Timothy Take-It returns to the lair where he lives with the other Take-Its. They are a rough and menacing lot who conspire to steal all of EggTown’s Easter eggs. That night, they sneak into EggTown and do the deed, but Good Gracious Grasshopper is on the job again and witnesses the robbery. At an emergency town meeting, an unusual group of heroes assemble to retrieve the stolen eggs: the group consists of Benedict, Harriet, Good Gracious, Tiny Tessie, Boss Baker (the owner of the pastry shop) and Mrs. Baker. They must brave the treacherous swamps and forests to get to the Take-Its’ lair. The journey is fraught with danger and adventure and the brave little group ends up finding a lot more than what they were looking for. Written by First Look Media

Former LAPD cop, Dakota Varley (played by UFC champion Bas Rutten), enters a power boat race seeking the prize of $250,000, but immediately discovers, first hand, that this race’s risk matches the prize: one racer is killed, 3 others seriously injured in multiple action-packed crashes and explosions. Varley prevails. Varley tries to leave the lake and collect his prize money but is drugged and kidnapped by Dawson (portrayed by Michael Rooker) and thrown into a different world: a world where survivl means everything and no-one follows the rules. Varley awakens on an island, strapped to pole, like a pig being carried to a barbeque. Surrounded by heavily-armed men, he soon learns that he and six other victims have been assembled to be contestants in the ultimate survival game: they will be hunted nightly by hunters with rifles until there is one remaining survivor, who will win a $10,000,000 cash prize! As the story unfolds, we meet the other contestants Jesse is an undercover DEA agent in Venezuela, Santha is military instructor for a group of revolutionaries in Sierra Leone, and that Darius is a socio-pathic murderer, court-martialed and supposedly imprisoned by the U.S. Army for slaughtering 40 innocents in Kosovo. We also learn, in bits and pieces, that each contestant has been brought to the game by a “Player.” Wealthy men and women who have each selected of one of the Contestants. Among these men are Carlos Alvarez, Venezuelan Drug Lord; U.S. Army General Ellison; and Ochiro Sumanni, a Japanese Gang Boss. All the while, we follow the Contestants as they struggle to survive the attacks not by of the hunters, but also each other. Enjoy the thrill ride as we follow Varley throught this intense action adventure: Varley’s game. Are you ready to play? Written by Anonymous

“Employee of the Month” is about a guy whose day spirals from bad to worse when he gets fired from his dream job at the bank and is dumped by his fiancée Sara. David’s best friend Jack tries to convince him it’s for the best, but the opposite occurs when bank robberies and millions of dollars become part of his day from hell. Written by Torlogh O’Boyle

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A man, Joel Barish, heartbroken that his girlfriend Clementine underwent a procedure to erase him from her memory, decides to do the same. However, as he watches his memories of her fade away, he realizes that he still loves her, and may be too late to correct his mistake. Written by anonymous

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I hate critics who include “I hate to admit this” as part of their reviews, but unfortunately I must join their ranks. Maybe I’ve used the line before and blocked it from my memory. If so, then I apologize. I watched the “Eurotrip” trailer, said ‘whatever,’ and went to the movie expecting a gross-out, raunchy teen-ish ‘R’-rated comedy with a few actual jokes that hit their marks surrounded by needless shots of naked female bodies. That’s what I expected but it’s not what “Eurotrip” delivered.

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In 1984, in Kiev, the communist teacher Andrej Romanovic Evilenko is dismissed from his position after a pedophilic act against a student. On 15 May 1984, the pedophile Evilenko begins to rape children, and then slashing the victims in pieces and eating them. The magistrate family man Vadim Timurouvic Lesiev is assigned to catch the serial killer and almost eight years later he finally captures the monster that killed fifty-five persons, most of them children and young women. On 22 May 1992, Evilenko goes to the court and on 14 February 1994 he is finally executed. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

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“Exorcist: The Beginning” has a firm grip on the title ‘Worst Movie of 2004.’ And it’s in strong contention for Worst Movie of the Decade, a title currently held on my list by “Gigli.” “The Beginning” is a disjointed, unintelligible mess that’s a very poor relation to the classic “The Exorcist.”

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In this film, muckraker Michael Moore turns his eye on George W. Bush and his War on Terrorism agenda. He illustrates his argument about how this failed businessman with deep connections to the royal house of Saud of Saudia Arabia and the Bin Ladins got elected on fraudulent circumstances and proceeded to blunder through his duties while ignoring warnings of the looming betrayal by his foreign partners. When that treachery hits with the 9/11 attacks, Moore explains how Bush failed to take immediate action to defend his nation, only to later cynically manipulate it to serve his wealthy backers’ corrupt ambitions. Through facts, footage and interviews, Moore illustrates his contention of how Bush and his cronies have gotten America into worse trouble than ever before and why Americans should not stand for it. Written by Kenneth Chisholm (kchishol@rogers.com

An obese boy named Fat Albert and his friends Rudy, Mushmouth, Bill, Dumb Donald, Russell, and Weird Harold, pulls into trouble when they “fall” out of their TV world into the real world, where Fat Albert tries to help a young girl, Doris, make friends. However, the simple life of the group is interrupted when Fat Albert falls for Doris’ older sister, Lauri, sparking his friends to worry that their leader may never want to return to his cartoon world again. Written by Anthony Pereyra {hypersonic91@yahoo.com}

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‘It’ is a Psammead (voiced by Eddie Izzard), an ancient, ugly and irritable sand fairy the children find one day on a secret beach at their uncle’s mansion. It grants them one wish per day, lasting until sunset. But they soon learn it is very hard to think of really sensible wishes, and each one gets them into unexpected difficulties. Magic, the children find, can be as awkward as it is enticing. Written by craig47