Do not go into “Bad Santa” thinking you’re about to see the normal ‘Christmas is magical, everyone goes to bed with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, and behind every Scrooge there’s a jolly old elf just waiting to emerge’ movie. First of all, Christmas is only magical for the first 15 minutes of shopping when the reality of overpriced presents and pushy crowds hasn’t yet sunk in. Secondly, I don’t know a single person who ever dreamed of sugarplums. And third, miraculous transformations are more in keeping with fairy tales than real life. Sometimes a Scrooge just is a Scrooge. “Bad Santa” takes those cynical thoughts to the extreme, gleefully lashing out at the holiday season and all those sticky sweet Hollywood movies with ho ho happy endings.

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The adventure story in this movie is about a lone warrior (Michael O’Hearn) who must overthrow the forces of darkness, lead by the evil Lord Munkar (Martin Kove). They fight for the possession of the three powerful artifacts of the Indo-European civilization: the sword, the cauldron and a talisman of life. Faced with retrieving the symbolic objects before they fall into the wrong hands, the epic hero heads across a perfidious land inhabited by deadly beasts and gorgeous damsels-in-distress. On his way, the great warrior will find true love, strong friendship with a bear-person, Wooby (Yuri Danilchenko), and the crown that is rightfully his.

Tom Hardy, an ex-Army Ranger turned DEA agent, is drawn into an ever-widening mystery surrounding the disappearance of the feared and often hated Sgt. Nathan West, as well as several of his elite Special Forces trainees on what appears, at first, to have been a routine training exercise during a hurricane in the jungles of Panama. Only two survivors are found, Dunbar, and a badly wounded Kendall, the son of a high-profile Joint Chiefs of Staff official. Neither is willing to cooperate with Capt. Julia Osborne’s investigation. So base commander Col. Bill Styles calls in ex-Ranger Hardy, an old friend and a persuasive interrogator. Osborne disapproves of Hardy who is on leave from the D.E.A. after having come under suspicion of accepting bribes from local drug traffickers. She is also uneasy when she learns that Hardy once trained under West and hates him almost as passionately as his current recruits. With time running out, Hardy and Osborne call a temporary, if uneasy, truce. Hardy cajoles a confession out of Dunbar, who claims that Sgt. West and the missing Rangers have been murdered and their bodies blown away by the hurricane. When they later interview Kendall, he confirms that the other Rangers and West are dead. But, in almost every other way, his story contradicts Dunbar’s. What happened to West and his Ranger team? And what were they really doing out there in the jungle? As each layer reveals more lies and greater deceptions, Hardy and Osborne inch towards the horrible truth about the fate of the missing Rangers. Written by Sujit R. Varma

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Ten years ago, Jake Hopper was a CIA agent who was stationed in Thailand. Then one day, things went sour, and his partner, Sunti barely escaped with his life…after accidentally killing a woman. Jake called it quits and returned to the United States when his wife died, and Sunti became a Buddhist monk to atone for his sins. For the past 10 years, Jake has run a successful private security business, and has been raising his daughter Jessica, who is now an adult. While hiking in Thailand, Jessica and her friend Sarah Winthorpe are kidnapped. A group of Islamic fundamentalists known as the Abu Karaf claims responsibility. Sarah is the daughter of United States senator John Winthorpe. For ransom, the Abu Karaf demand the release of 20 prisoners from American custody. The US Secretary of State urges restraint — he won’t negotiate. Tom Collins, an ex-colleague of Jake’s, recognizes Jessica on the ransom tape and tips Jake off. Jake knows that he must rescue the girls himself. An old CIA buddy puts Jake in contact with Leon Washington, an active CIA agent who is working in Thailand. Jake goes to Bangkok, and escapes an assassination attempt. Leon arranges a meeting for himself with with Soku — the internal security chief for General Jantapan. Jantapan is a rebel military general who is making a play to be one of the most powerful men in Thailand. Secretly, Jantapan is messing with some dangerous spiritual forces. Soku provides Jake with a cover story, but the CIA wants Jake out of it — they are planning to take out the Abu Karaf with the aid of the Thai army, and they don’t want a civilian in the middle. Jake is a spiritual man, so he contacts his spiritual master Paijan Paitoon. As Jake is in trouble, Paitoon offers to arrange a divination from the oracle of the order. Jake enlists the help of Sunti. Jake gets Lulu, the girlfriend of arms dealer Fitch McQuoid, to steal information leading to the Abu Karaf. Jake and Sunti follow the leads to a warehouse where they discover evidence of highly sophisticated weaponry. With their enemies now after Lulu, Jake takes Lulu under his wing. Jake shares some of his info with Leon. Can he trust Leon? Another attempt is made on Jake’s life — and this time, Jake is sure that Leon was involved. Finally, the Abu Karaf contact Jake to arrange a meeting — the pieces are coming together, and Jake figures out that it was not the Abu Karaf who kidnapped Jessica and Sarah. Jantapan tries to send the spirit of an ancient warrior demon to kill Jake, but the ceremony goes wrong and the spirit enters Jantapan himself, giving Jantapan amazing physical and spiritual powers. Jake and Sunti go to meet Mongkol, the leader of the Abu Karaf. Mongkol confirms that ever since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, Jantapan has worked to corner the narcotics and arms markets. It was Jantapan who kidnapped the girls, blaming the Abu Karaf so the army would wipe out his competition. Mongkol knows where the girls are, and he gives Jake plans and intelligence. They both need the girls alive. Jake must engage in a battle that will put both his physical and spiritual powers to the ultimate test. Written by Todd Baldridge

Jayne Ferré needs to get out of Los Angeles fast. A strikingly beautiful woman, yet ruthless assassin for the mob; she is on the run with a suitcase full of a million dollars in blood money, stolen from mob boss Frank Bianci. Sixteen-year-old Kerry is on the run from a drug dealer set on payback. His mother Emily decides to take Kerry and start a new life in Texas, but doesn’t have enough money to get there. Jayne, who is now carrying a price on her head, must take out one would-be assassin at the train station before she offers to cover Emily’s expenses if she can hitch a ride to San Antonio. Emily and her son gladly accept the offer. The unlikely trio’s car breaks down and needs parts. They are left without a choice, so they check into a small motel for one night. While Jayne is showering, kerry sneaks a look through her belongings and discovers the case of cash. During the night, a well-meaning Kerry snakes into Jayne’s room and steals the briefcase, then hitches a ride back to Los Angeles. Jayne realizes what happened but first has to deal with Bianci’s men in a blazing gun battle outside the motel. Jayne forces Emily into a car and heads back to L.A. until Emily makes a daring escape. Alex Tyler, an FBI agent and seemingly Good Samaritan, picks Emily up and takes her back to L.A. At Emily’s house mob boss Frank Bianci is dead, along with a crooked detective, when Alex gets a call from Jayne, and it becomes clear that they are working together. Jayne has Kerry hostage and Emily must bring her money or she’ll kill him. But when Emily gets her hands on a gun, she turns the tables and a deadly standoff ensues between two trained killers, a couple of dirty cops, the mob, and a mother and son in what becomes a deadly game of wits to stay alive. Written by Anonymous

Pick your own tagline for this one. My suggestions: “Beyond Boredom” or “Beyond Belief” or “Why Isn’t There Anything Entertaining About This Movie?” or “Clive Owen is Great But…” or “A Love Story Without Chemistry.” I could go on and on.

What starts out with an interesting premise quickly deteriorates into a cockeyed political statement. If you support the humanitarian work prominently featured in “Beyond Borders,” you’ll be disappointed in how Hollywood has taken an important program and screwed around with its basic mission statement.

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The story revolves around a dying father and his son, who is trying to learn more about his dad by piecing together the stories he has gathered over the years. The son winds up re-creating his father’s elusive life in a series of legends and myths inspired by the few facts he knows. Through these tales, the son begins to understand his father’s great feats and his great failings. Written by Anonymous

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A mythic motorcycle tale of father and son”, this is the story of Manuel Galloway (Fishburne), also known as “the King of Cali”, the president of a motorcycle club whose members are all African-American men, mostly white-collar workers who exchange their suits and ties at night and on weekends for leather outfits and motorcycle helmets. The focus of this story takes place at an annual drag-racing event in Fresno, as Manuel tries to retain his championship title. Written by PhatBleek

In this thriller, Val Kilmer plays Frank, a man who loses his memory after being shot in small desert town in New Mexico. As he tries to retrace his steps and figure out his true identity, Frank believes he may be part of a plot to assassinate the president. Sam Sheperd plays the town’s shifty-eyed sheriff and Neve Campbell plays a woman claiming to be Frank’s fiancee. Written by Kiko200415@yahoo.com

“Bringing Down the House” telegraphs every joke before the actor hits the punchline but that’s the least of the movie’s problems. The film has some funny moments, but there are too many jokes that are just plain uncomfortable. Because every ethnic stereotype is used as a source of amusement, the scenes that are supposed to make you laugh are the scenes that actually make you cringe. It’s got cracks about Latinos only being allowed in a rich neighborhood if they have a leaf-blower in their hands, Steve Martin’s character for some strange reason has a pink maid outfit on hand that fits Queen Latifah (where did that come from?), and every person of color speaks slang and it’s up to a white guy to teach them how to speak proper English.

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