A movie about Electronic Voice Phenomena? It sounds interesting enough. Voices from beyond the grave come through on TV sets or radios tuned to stations that aren’t broadcasting. We’re talking about what could be some very spooky stuff here. Unfortunately, everything “White Noise” dishes out we’ve seen before. And in most cases, we’ve seen it done much, much better.

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‘Toon star Roger is worried that his wife Jessica is playing pattycake with someone else, so the studio hires detective Eddie Valiant to snoop on her. But the stakes are quickly raised when Marvin Acme is found dead and Roger is the prime suspect. Groundbreaking interaction between the live and animated characters, and lots of references to classic animation. Written by Jon Reeves {jreeves@imdb.com}

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Will Seth Green hook up with a hairy-legged tree hugger? Will Matthew Lillard come to his senses and figure out he’s in what might be the best relationship of his life? Are either of these questions really important? No. Nothing much matters other than going for as many gross-out laughs as possible in “Without a Paddle,” a weird buddy road trip comedy that has a definite “Deliverance” quality to it.

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When Leonard Vole is arrested for the sensational murder of a rich, middle-aged widow, the famous Sir Wilfrid Robarts agrees to appear on his behalf. Sir Wilfrid, recovering from a near-fatal heart attack, is *supposed* to be on a diet of bland, civil suits. But the lure of the criminal courts is too much for him, especially when the case is so difficult: Vole’s only alibi witness is his wife, the calm and coldly calculating Christine Vole. Sir Wilfrid’s task becomes even more impossible when Christine agrees to be a witness not for the defence but for the prosecution. Written by A.L.Beneteau {albl@inforamp.net}

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Holmes and Watson investigate a series of bizarre and apparently unconnected murders, and the death of a possible suspect. The trail leads to a society of hypnotists and a mysterious, glamoruos woman. The fiendish Dr Moriarty, though reported hanged in Montevideo, is belived to be involved. Written by Michael Crew {m.crew@bbcnc.org.uk}

With problems appearing between FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, a dangerous conspiracy is starting to appear. A deadly virus, which appears to be of extraterrestrial origin has appeared, which could destroy all life on Earth. With the help of a paranoid doctor, Alvin Kurtzweil, Mulder and Scully must act fast in order to save everyone on the planet. Written by Film_Fan

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Daryl Zero is a private investigator. Along with his assistant, Steve Arlo he solves impossible crimes and puzzles. Though a master investigator, when he is not working, Zero doesn’t know what to do with himself. He has no social skills, writes bad music, and drives Arlo crazy. In his latest case, Zero must find out who is blackmailing a rich executive, and when his client won’t tell him, why. The only problem with this case is Zero has done something he’s never done before: got emotionally involved. Written by MartianWax

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THE ZODIAC takes a different look at the famous Zodiac Killer case from other screen treatments of the murders. More than a simple crime story, the film is an emotional thriller focusing on the murders’ impact on victims, their families and the wider community. The film follows a police detective and his son who become obsessed with the murders and endanger their family in the process. Written by Anonymous

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Derek Zoolander is VH1’s three time male model of the year, but when Hansel wins the award instead, Zoolander’s world becomes upside down. His friends disappear, his father is disappointed in him, and he feels that he’s not good as a model anymore. But when evil fashion guru Mugato hires Zoolander, he thinks his life has turned back round again, that is until he finds out that Mugato has actually brainwashed him to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Can Zoolander and his new friends find out how to prevent the incident before it’s too late? Written by FilmFanUK

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